Red Carpet: Academy Awards 2013

Another Oscars have come and gone and, I don’t know about you, but I feel a bit underwhelmed. The show itself was not great; I wanted Seth McFarlane to be a lot better at hosting than he actually was. And the red carpet fashion? Kinda dull, with lots of colorless and neutral gowns. Here’s how I saw it:

Best Dressed:

best - keibler, chastain, watts, seyfried

  • Stacy Keibler: Completely perfect. Stunning. Wow. Those are all the words I have to say. Wait, I have a few more: best dressed of the night.
  • Jessica Chastain: First, her hair and makeup were brilliant. Love, love, love the soft waves and red lips. Second, her dress – a pale color on a pale girl – should not work, but somehow it does. Well done.
  • Naomi Watts: This gown took me awhile to get used to, but once I did, I decided Watts looks fabulous. It’s such an interesting bodice, but it really works, sidestepping potential awkwardness and heading right into downright striking territory.
  • Amanda Seyfried: My second favorite look of the night. Her hair is perfection and her dress is gorgeous – just so intricate and lovely. As with Jessica Chastain, I can’t believe such a pale girl can pull off such a pale color so well, but Seyfried is doing it.

Honorable Mention:

honorable - lawrence, barks, spencer, adams

  • Jennifer Lawrence: This is certainly a gorgeous gown, but the overall bridal vibe held me back from outright  “loving” it. It’s a LOT of train for one person, but J. Law’s pulling it off (well, except for the part where she fell walking onstage to accept her award). Also: her hair is absolutely perfect and her earrings, though hard to see here, were lovely.
  • Samantha Barks: This is one of those looks that it striking because it’s so wonderfully simple (and, yes, because there’s a gigantic slit down the front, which she’s totally rocking). I wish her hair had been a bit less messy though.
  • Octavia Spencer: I complained about the colorless gowns, but in this case, the color (or lack thereof) totally works. I also love the tulle wrapped around her shoulders; it’s got an old Hollywood vibe that I’m digging.
  • Amy Adams: At first I thought this gown was a little too “pretty, pretty princessy” for my tastes, but I decided to embrace it because it’s pretty incredible. A statement dress, for sure.

Worst Dressed:

worst - hathaway, zeta jones, mccarthy, saldana

  • Anne Hathaway: I hate this. Hate it. And it’s not just because Anne Hathaway annoys me; I fully accept that she can look awesome on the red carpet despite my personal apathy toward her. But this is just NOT her dress. It’s WAY too pale and downright dull – total shades of Paltrow the year she won. Anne’s hair and makeup look great, but that’s all I like about this look.
  • Catherine Zeta-Jones: I’m sorry, but this is tacky. Too gold, too attention-seeking. Rein it in, CZJ. Also, if you wear a solid gold dress, do you really need gigantic gold earrings, too? However, to end on a positive note: she looked fabulous in the Chicago number, did she not?
  • Melissa McCarthy: I’m not a fan of the color of this dress, but I can live with it. What I cannot live with? Her hair. Straight up ’80s, but not in a good way. Egregious.
  • Zoe Saldana: It pains me to label someone who consistently takes risks with fashion (and often looks fabulous while doing it) as a “worst dressed,” but it had to be done. This dress just looks overworked, with too much nonsense piled onto the top half and too many ideas overall. The ombre train is kind of cool, but it’s too much when combined with everything else this dress has going on.

Split Decision:

split - washington, garner, theron, field

  • Kerry Washington: I adore the coral color, but I’m not sure how I feel about the bust – it seems like a bit too much going on. I also wish she did something (anything!) with her hair; it was just hanging there.
  • Jennifer Garner: I love the color of her dress; it’s unique and looks really lovely on her. However, she has a giant ruffle trailing down her spine and…just no. Looks good from the front, but not so much from the side or the back.
  • Charlize Theron: I feel like peplum is way overplayed at this point, but you can’t deny that this is a striking look on Theron. Also, can we talk about her hair? She makes the pixie cuts sported by the likes of Anne Hathaway and Michelle Williams look like child’s play. Just wow.
  • Sally Field: I adore this color on her, but I think she almost went a little too matronly with this gown. The dress was too plain; I wanted a little sparkle or something to jazz the gown up. However, Field did get to walk the red carpet with Joseph Gordon Levitt which, let’s be honest, was one of the more adorable things ever.

Miscellaneous Fashion Awards of Note:

wallis, aniston, bullock, witherspoon

  • Most Adorable: There can be NO critiquing someone as adorable as Quvenzhane Wallis; she’s nine years old and beyond reproach. Her dress is cute, she’s wearing a tiara, and she’s carrying a freaking puppy dog purse. I can’t even.
  • Most Expected: Okay, the skirt here is fuller than Jennifer Aniston normally goes, but otherwise this look is 100% expected – solid color, column bodice, stick straight hair. But, damn, she does it well. Ultimately, I can’t fault her for knowing what works and sticking with it.
  • Second Most Expected: This feels reminiscent of what Sandra Bullock wore the night she won her own Oscar – that high neckline, in particular. Bullock looks good, and credit her for knowing what she likes, but I wish this look had a bit more pizazz.
  • Most Boring: Though her hair was gorgeous, Reese Witherspoon‘s dress was something of a snooze fest. Not really bad, but just…standard.

adele, berry, weaver, kidman

  • Best Black: This is a predictable look for Adele, but she looks lovely. The dress is nice, and I really like the softness of her hair. Also, she wins points for being an awesome human being in general. Love her.
  • Best 80s Diva Fabulosity: Let’s be honest: Halle Berry‘s look is kinda cray, but I sort of love it anyway. It’s shiny, and there are stripes going every which way, and she’s rocking shoulder pads. It sounds like a joke, but she looks amazing – if anyone can pull this off, Halle can.
  • The “This Is What Sally Field Should Have Worn” Award: When I said I wished Sally Field would have jazzed her look up, this is what I meant. Jackie Weaver‘s gown is age appropriate yet interesting. I like this dress a lot.
  • Worst Fabric: The black parts of Nicole Kidman‘s dress almost look like trash bags to me. Am I crazy? There’s just something about the uber-shininess of the black that does not work for me. I wanted to like this gown but cannot get on board with it.

dewan, fonda, hunt, hayek

  • Best Mama-to-Be: I love Jenna Dewan Tatum‘s dress – it’s pretty and sexy but totally appropriate for her now. Also, she gets my vote for best accessory, if you know what I mean. What I mean is, Channing Tatum is hot.
  • Most Ageless: Ladies and gentleman, Jane freaking Fonda. Wikipedia tells me this lady is 75. Whaaaaat? She looks fabulous. The yellow color is crazy but I think she’s making it happen (as best as anyone can make that color happen). Her hairstyle looks dated though.
  • Best Bargain: The dress that Helen Hunt is sporting is from H&M. Let that sink in for a minute. H&M, home of the $5 blouse. This is like when Sharon Stone wore a Gap shirt on the red carpet – cheap fashion made fabulous. I kind of love Hunt for this, even if the gown is a tad simple.
  • Worst Collar: Salma Hayek looks like she’s being strangled. I’m not a fan of her hair, either. She can do (and has done) better than this.

stewart, munn, hudson, zellweger

  • Most Begrudging Admittance That I Like This Look: I’m not a K Stew fan (she inspires a rage in me similar to that of Anne Hathaway), but she looks fairly good here. She usually goes for a look best described as “gothic and unhappy,” but she took a different approach – and I think it works. Minus the hair, however. That’s just tragic.
  • Best Red: Yeah, that’s a lot of fabric around the middle of Olivia Munn‘s dress, but I think this gown is gorgeous overall – especially the detailing on that bodice. Love Marchesa, always.
  • The “Take That, Beyonce” Award: During the Dreamgirls segment of the show, did anyone else think Beyonce was just going to pop up? I mean, she’s everywhere these days. Alas, there’s no time for Queen B. when J. Hud is killing the Dreamgirls song and looking fantastic on the red carpet. Her hair is gorgeous, and the color of this dress is beautiful. Get it, Effie.
  • Most in Need of a Hairstylist: I’m fine with Renee Zellweger‘s dress (though it’s nothing special), but what was up with her hair? Lady, I know it was windy on the red carpet, but no.

If you watched the Oscars, what did you think? Was this one of the longest, most mind-numbing shows ever? And are my picks for best and worst dressed spot on, or totally crazy?

(Images via People)

Red Carpet: SAG Awards 2013

The SAG Awards are a funny little awards show: they’re televised, but not on a major network; they’re prestigious, but not on the same level as the Oscars. You almost get the sense that the actresses are sort of waiting until the Oscars to break out their big “statement” gowns. As such, the fashions last night were pretty low key – not that that would ever prevent me from talking about them. Of course.

Best Dressed:

best dressed

  • Naomi Watts: Simple but striking – I think the beading on the front is gorgeous, and I love her hair. Props to her for being my only repeat Best Dressed from the Globes (a very prestigious distinction, obviously).
  • Marion Cotillard: Leave it to everyone’s favorite French import to be one of the only women to make a daring fashion choice last night. I adore this look from head to toe; big bows are always a risky choice, but this one looks just right. I also love the fullness of her train, and her hair is straight up awesome.
  • Jennifer Garner: Seeing them side-by-side made me realize that Garner’s dress is basically the gold version of Naomi Watts’s. I suppose that means I could fault them both for being boring, but instead I’m going to argue that they’re equally awesome. Same comments as Watts: simple but stunning, great beading, lovely hair.

Honorable Mentionshonorable mentions

  • Amanda Seyfried: There were a lot of basic black and navy gowns on the red carpet last night; I was bored with most of them but not with Seyfried’s. I think it’s the train that saves her here, plus I love the funky necklace and the side-swept hair.
  • Viola Davis: She looks amazing in every color I’ve ever seen her wear, but I think this is a particularly good one for her. There’s nothing revelatory about the design of this gown – it’s your standard Grecian-inspired dress – but she’s making it work.
  • Tina Fey: The perfect combination of quirky meets intellectual meets retro glam. I love her belt – it adds just the right amount of visual interest to the gown.

Worst Dressed: worst dressed

  • Jane Lynch: Kicking of my trio of worst dressed nominees (who coincidentally all wore black) is Jane Lynch, wearing a gown with a very unfortunate top half. Are those metal studs dotting her gown? Ugh.
  • Sigourney Weaver: Another tragic top half: it looks like a black sheet is just pinned to the front of her body, making her appear completely flat and boxy. Just totally unflattering.
  • Julie Bowen: It’s baffling to me that someone as beautiful as Bowen consistently makes such odd fashion choices. Here, her violation is choosing a leather gown with funky shoulders – it just makes for a weird look.

Miscellaneous Fashion Awards of Note:

field, chastain, dockery

  • Best Color: As I mentioned, there was a flood of navy and black gowns at the SAGs last night, so it was nice to see such a gorgeous shade of purple on Sally Field. The dress itself is also quite beautiful; all awards season long, she’s done a fantastic job of dressing in a way that’s age appropriate but not matronly.
  • Best Matching Dress & Hair Combo: I loved the color of Jessica Chastain’s gown, and as I was looking at the photo, it suddenly dawned on me why: it complements her red hair so well. Overall, this look is a winner – but, is it me, or is her dress just a bit too tight?
  • Best Gothic Glamour: I don’t think the striking black gown and heavy dark makeup combo would work for everyone, but Michelle Dockery is pulling it off. However, is she flashing some side boob? How very un-Lady Mary of her.

jones, lawrence, hathaway

  • Best Risk-Taker: If there is one person who is consistently bold with her fashion choices, it’s January Jones. Sometimes it pays off and sometimes it doesn’t – and tonight, I think her look fell somewhere in the middle of that spectrum. The black strap around her neck is throwing me off here, and her hair is just a bit too much. But props to her for always experimenting with her look.
  • Most Boring: I’m not ever sure what to say about Jennifer Lawrence’s dress. She looks great, but in a very safe way. With that neckline, she needed more of a statement necklace, or something to give this look a little pizzazz. Really glad she won, though.
  • Most Disappointing: I’m still waiting for Anne Hathaway to have her knockout fashion moment this awards season; she disappointed me at the Globes and she disappointed me here too. I was annoyed by the sheer netting on top, but when I realized she was wearing a sheer overlay skirt too, this look became irredeemable. You better pull through at the Oscars, Annie.

kemper, shipka, pare

  • Most Unnecessary Bow: Remember a few paragraphs back when I said that, while Marion Cotillard’s looked nice, bows were a risky proposition? Well, Ellie Kemper illustrates why: her side bow distracts from what is otherwise a perfectly lovely gown.
  • Most Adorable: I love Kiernan Shipka – this gown is just too cute. She’s like Sally Field, but on the opposite end of the spectrum: someone who dresses appropriately for her age, while managing not to look too childish.
  • Best Retro Glam: Whenever I see Best Dressed lists after an award show, Jessica Pare is almost never on them; she seems to fly under the radar a bit. I love her, however – she seems to pull retro fashion inspiration from her own show, and that works for her.

michelle, byrne, cuoco

  • Most In Need of a Tanning Intervention: Dear Lea Michele, please lay off on the spray tanner – it’s not your friend. As for your dress: I like the color, but overall it’s a bit too plain.
  • Silliest Princess: I’m not sure what to make of Rose Byrne’s dress; it almost seems like a combination of a childish princess and a 1920s garden party attendee. Something about this gown just rubs me the wrong way. I also wish that the ruffles were only on top; the fact that they trail all the way down the dress is driving me crazy and seems like overkill.
  • Worst Hair: This is a perfectly passable dress, but Kaley Cuoco’s hair is just inexplicable – it manages both to look too puffy and too flat at the same time. And while I’m on board overall with the recent trend toward bangs (you get ‘em, FLOTUS), I don’t thing bangs are Cuoco’s friend.

fischer, bledel, danes

  • Personal Best: I have never been a fan of Jenna Fischer’s red carpet choices (I think she tends to dress way too conservatively), but this is a real high point for her. She’s dressed modestly, but she doesn’t look frumpy, she looks sleek.
  • Most Disconcerting Couple: Rory Gilmore is dating Pete Campbell in real life?!? I can barely get over this fact, but I will say that I liked Alexis Bledel’s dress – it’s a good color choice for her. Also, Kaley Cuoco, take note: this is how bangs are done.
  • Worst Makeup: I’m ambivalent about Claire Danes’s dress, but the makeup she’s sporting is just plain wrong. More specifically, her lips resemble the color of Kate Winslet’s after she spent hours floating in icy waters (and hogging that damn door) after the Titanic sank.

Did you watch the SAG Awards? And if you did, who wore your favorite looks?

Golden Globes 2013: Fashion Recap

Recently, I’ve found awards shows themselves fairly awful (bad hosts, cringe-worthy jokes, terrible acceptance speeches). In those instances, the red carpet has been the most interesting part of the night for me. However, this year’s Golden Globes reversed that trend – with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler as hosts and awesome acceptance speeches from people like Jennifer Lawrence and Adele, the Globes themselves were pretty entertaining this year. The red carpet, however? Not so great. I was bored by almost every look, and even the looks I loved weren’t as wow-worthy as dresses from years past. That said, I’m still going to talk about the fashions anyway. Obviously.

Best Dressed:

best - watts, moore, dockery

  • Naomi Watts: I love this color on Watts – the deep red was just gorgeous. The cut of the dress (which you can’t see that well from this photo) was also really nice, and I liked her hair a lot – it had an old school, 1920s vibe that seemed to be on trend last night.
  • Julianne Moore: You can always count on Moore to wear something striking on the red carpet, and this was no exception. You might hear “black and white dress” and think “boring!,” but the way the white stripe was incorporated into the dress and the cut of the shoulders made this so visually interesting. I think Moore takes the overall best dressed crown.
  • Michelle Dockery: I can’t think of one thing Dockery has ever worn on the red carpet that I liked so, most of all, I’m just relieved to see her in something fabulous…finally. This look is risky and unique, but it paid off. Great hair, too.

Honorable Mention:

honorable mention - mcphee, field, poehler

  • Katherine McPhee: I don’t know much about McPhee, but my impression was that she had sort of a wholesome persona, so I liked seeing her play against type with this daring dress. Also, her hair and makeup were styled perfectly to complement the look.
  • Sally Field: I love that Sally Field shows up, looking fantastic, and really shows some of these younger, misguided actresses how it’s done. Navy is the perfect color for her, and this dress is classy but not stuffy. Her hair is a bit messy though.
  • Amy Poehler: On a night where nearly everyone bored me, I was mostly excited to see something unique come down the red carpet, and this is nothing if not unique. This fit well and looked sharp – plus, I liked her side swept hair and cool necklace.

Worst Dressed:

worst - chastain, weisz miller

  • Jessica Chastain: Chastain is so hit-or-miss on the Red Carpet; it seems like she either kills it or is a total train wreck. And, sad to say, it was the latter here. I wasn’t a fan of this dress’s color, but it was the fit that I really found atrocious. Her hairstyle was also a bit scary. Good to see her win, though – she deserved it.
  • Rachel Weisz: When I first saw Weisz on TV, I only saw her top half, and I thought this might be a winner – it looked like a classic dress, and her hair is beautiful. Then the camera panned down and…yikes. The sheer polka dot overlay is downright tacky. Still, you can’t feel too bad for Weisz – she gets to go home with Daniel Craig, which pretty much makes her the biggest winner of all.
  • Sienna Miller: People always claim that Miller is some sort of brilliant fashionista but, honestly, how many great red carpet moments has she had? I can’t think of any, and she certainly didn’t have one tonight; I hated that this was two pieces and the floral bits looked tacky and cheap, as though a kindergartner had glued them atop the dress as a craft project.

Other Fashion Awards of Note:

washington, deschanel, adams

  • The “Girl, Where’s Your Train?” Award: I loved almost everything about Kerry Washington‘s dress – except for the length. It would have been even more striking if it had a nice, dramatic train. Still, this is a solid look – and Washington looks great with bangs.
  • Most Expected: Big puffy princess skirt. Precious nails. Retro-ish hairstyle. We’ve seen it before from Zooey Deschanel, but it still looked good, despite its predictability.
  • Worst Color Choice: The silhouette of Amy Adams‘s dress is beautiful (if a bit too tight), but I loathe the color – it matches her skin almost perfectly, and I just don’t think that’s a flattering situation for anyone. If this had been a bold – or, hell, any – color, this probably would have been a best dressed for me.

danes, adele, lawrence

  • Best Post-Baby Rebound: You guys, Claire Danes had a baby a month ago. I repeat: one month ago. She looks fantastic. This dress is simple (which is no surprise coming from her), but she looks wonderful.
  • Second Best Post-Baby Rebound: Adele also had a baby recently and also looks fantastic. This was a pretty basic black gown, but the collar added some interest. I also loved her updo. Plus, she high-fived Daniel Craig after she won her award, which was adorable. Unrelated to how she looked on the red carpet, but adorable nonetheless.
  • Most Awkward Bust: I almost loved Jennifer Lawrence‘s look, but I just can’t handle what was going on with the top half. The pointy bra top was almost reminiscent of Madonna, which is never a good thing.

dunham, hough, bacarin

  • Best Glamming Up: The red carpet doesn’t seem to be Lena Dunham‘s natural habitat, but she cleaned up really nicely last night. Her gown was simple (verging on boring), but the rich brown color and the pleating work added just enough pizzazz. It was also great to see her win two awards, and her onstage shout out to Chad Lowe was one of my favorite jokes.
  • Tackiest: I’m sorry, Julianne Hough – you seem like a nice person, but from the awful hairstyle to the crazy, gold-bedazzled, overly-tulled ball gown, this look was just wrong.
  • Most Funereal: There was so much dark material here that it looked like Morena Baccarin was preparing to attend a very fancy funeral. I also think that this look – particularly the sheer material covering her arms – is much too old for her.

hathaway, zeta jones, lopez

  • The “Nice Dress, but I’m Already Sick of You” Award: First, I have to get this off my chest: my Anne Hathaway annoyance was temporarily put on hold after I saw Les Mis and realized she really was that good, but it’s now back in full force – something about her just screams “insincere” to me. When she acted so shocked to win last night, I just thought, “come on! We all KNEW you were going to win.” However, I will have to come to terms with her, because I know she will be popping up on every red carpet for the next few weeks. Speaking of which, her dress. My verdict: fine. It was good, but not great. Beautiful, but not very dramatic or special. Try harder for the Oscars, Annie.
  • Best Retro Glamour: There seemed to be a lot of Downton Abbey-inspired creations on the red carpet last night, but Catherine Zeta-Jones just might have had my favorite one of all. Someone like her is just born to exude old Hollywood glamour, and last night was no exception. The dress was gorgeous; I especially loved the beautiful beading.
  • Most Attention-Seeking: I know this is going to sound harsh, but…please go away, Jennifer Lopez. You weren’t nominated for anything and, let’s be real, you’re barely relevant as an actress anymore. Something about this attention-seeking number just grated on me; why not let the actual nominees shine on the red carpet? Not everything has to be about you.

hayek, hudson, longoria

  • Best Little Black Dress: Does Salma Hayek age? I’m beginning to think not. She looked great, and this dress was a good choice for her. Sure, it’s simple, but I think on someone like her, it’s enough to make an impact.
  • Split Decision: At first, I really disliked Kate Hudson‘s dress – the gold collar, in particular, threw me off. However, upon further consideration, this look is actually growing on me. She looks pretty chic, and I like the black and gold combo. But, I do think her hair should have been pulled back – it’s fighting with that collar for attention. All in all, I’m torn between loving and hating this look.
  • Most Outrageous Slit: There were a couple dresses with crazy high slits last night, but I think Eva Longoria‘s takes the cake and, overall, I was not a fan of her look. Honey, Angelina Jolie you are not.

If you watched the Golden Globes, what did you think? Who wore your favorite looks?

(Images via People and Entertainment Weekly)

Project Runway All-Stars: S2, E3

The Challenge: The designers met Carolyn in Long Island City, where they saw the world’s largest collection of “aerosol art.” Carolyn tasked the designers with making their own “wearable art,” which they were to create by using spray paint to design their own patterned fabric. While this seemed like a pretty creative idea for a challenge, it struck me as super difficult to spray paint something with any level of accuracy if you’ve never done so before – and, from some of the patterns the designers produced, I suspect I was right.

My Top Three:

  • Casanova: The shape of this dress was very basic (and verged on being cut too low in back), but I thought Casanova knocked it out of the park in terms of spray painting technique. His design actually did look like wearable art, which was the whole point of the challenge. I especially loved the little cityscape Casanova painted in the dress’s bottom left quadrant.
  • Anthony Ryan: I adored this dress, particularly the patten, which I found bold and graphic in the best way. The dress was also well-tailored, and I liked the wide black belt. Anthony Ryan’s look was the clear winner to me but, sadly, not to the judges.
  • Joshua: I struggled to come up with three top looks this week, so, suffice it to say, Joshua’s look is not my absolute favorite. However, I do think there’s some good stuff going on here. All his different patterns were quite interesting – to me, they seemed like they should not work together, but somehow the way he put this garment together, they did.

My Bottom Three:

  • Emilio: I hated this look – the print and color scheme were way too aggressive. I could tell Emilio’s pieces were well-made, but I simply could not get past the in-your-face coloring. It was just too much for me, so naturally the judges named Emilio the winner.
  • Suede: This garment looked very crafty and amateurish, as though there were a bunch of yellow circles slapped all over it for no good reason at all (which is quite possibly the case). I also hated the bottom of Suede’s dress – there was way too much fabric, and the construction of it looked so cheap.
  • Laura: It’s possible that I found Laura’s look even more atrocious than I otherwise would have because her personality has become so off-putting, but I really was not a fan of this piece. The mixture of purple and yellow paint became a little drab and gray looking, and the hemline (as Laura herself acknowledged) was way too short. But what bothered me the most about the dress was the back – those pieces of black fringe hanging off were just tacky.

Bitchy Lines of the Night:

  • “I’m painting my canvas purple, yellow, and black, and I notice that Althea is using purple and yellow, because they look so great together. Oh, hey, Althea honey – you need to get your own ideas.” (Ugh, Laura Kathleen has turned into a full-on beast this season. Also, Laura – I’m pretty sure you’re not the first person in history to pair yellow and purple together).
  • “Now, I’m thinking of my fine line in fashion: is it hideous? Is it fabulous?” (Joanna to Kayne. Let’s all take a wild guess about which side of the line she thought Kayne’s garment fell on).
  • “But is he a seamstress or a designer?” (One of the guest judges on Kayne, which, if you’ve followed this show throughout the years, you probably know is one of the worst criticisms the judges can give).

Random Bits + Pieces:

  • The show insisted on using the term “aerosol art” repeatedly. I’m sorry, but can we just call it graffiti?
  • Kayne summed up the awfulness of Laura Kathleen perfectly when he said, “I’m hearing that Laura Kathleen has offended everyone. She’s on everyone’s last gay nerve.” I agree. I mean, when did Laura become such a seemingly terrible human being? I’m ready for her to go.
  • Andrae’s glasses this episode were very Harry Potter circa The Sorcerer’s Stone, were they not? Love it.
  • Speaking of Andrae – someone needs to forcibly remove the tulle from his hands. He uses it every week, and every week I come to the conclusion that it’s not adding anything to his look.
  • This week’s judges? Jeffrey Costello and Robert Tagliapietra, two designers who were dressed like lumberjacks and are apparently favorites of Anna Wintour’s. I had never heard of them before, but they delivered thoughtful and helpful critiques.

The Results: The judges named Emilio this week’s winner (Whaaaa? Anthony Ryan was robbed). Mercifully for PR fans across the universe, the judges eliminated Suede, thus sparing us of further weeks of listening to Suede talk about himself in the third person.

What did you think of this week’s Project Runway All-Stars? Do any of the designers have a future in “aerosol art”? Were you sad to see Suede go?

(All photos via Lifetime)

Project Runway: Season 10, Episode 13

By now, the rhythm of Project Runway has become familiar; this many seasons into the show, it wasn’t hard to predict how this episode would play out. The designers would leave, Tim would come visit them at home, the designers would return (so happy to see each other again! Besties!), and the designers would have mini-meltdowns as they tried to select which of their looks they would present to the judges to make it to Fashion Week. There were no trips to Mood, no montages of the designers sketching, and no wacky challenges – and while this made the hour relatively low-key, it also meant the focus was on the fashion. Which, given that this is a fashion competition, is probably just as it should be. So let’s get right to it: who’s going to Fashion Week?

The Challenge: Heidi and Tim informed the designers that they would each get $9000 to create their collections…but that not all four were guaranteed a spot in the finals. This was meant to be shocking, but since this happens pretty much every season, it barely registered. The designers headed home to create their looks and then, upon their return to New York, were told they would have to show three pieces to secure their places at Fashion Week.

Here are my thoughts on each designer’s look, from my most favorite to least.

Dmitry’s Three Looks:

  • Look One: I did not love how shapeless this dress was, but I adored the geometry of the piece – very cool.
  • Look Two: Not sure about this. I loved the pants – they were impeccably tailored and just all-around quite cool. Dmitry started to lose me on the top, though. Something about the sheerness of this just didn’t read “chic” to me, which is the word I typically associate with Dmitry’s style.
  • Look Three: Yikes! Not sure about the fringed arms on the jacket, and again, the sheer top underneath. But, the jacket (and the material it was made of) were fantastic.
  • Overall: I wanted to love this because I love Dmitry, but I just didn’t. These pieces were solid but not wonderful. You could see the architectural look that Dmitry was going for, and everything was impeccably made as per usual, but some of his choices just felt off. But, I thought everyone’s looks were lackluster last night – so I would still rate Dmitry’s mini-collection at the top.

Fabio’s Three Looks:

  • Look One: Loved the pants, loved the necklace. The top looked cheap to me (though I liked the fabric it was made of) and the vest wasn’t anything special.
  • Look Two: I hated the way this top puckered; it was an interesting idea with the geometric cutouts, but Fabio did not execute it well. The back of the top, with it’s lace panel, was quite pretty.
  • Look Three: Hated this. It just looked like a bedsheet, to be honest. I did love the geometric neckline though.
  • Overall: These pieces did look like a cohesive collection, and I loved the geometric flourishes Fabio added throughout. But, I wasn’t crazy about his color palette – it looked too washed out. And, as the judges noted, some of these pieces looked cheap. I still rate this above Melissa and Christopher though; at least Fabio tried to do something different and special, whereas what we saw from the other two were drab, blah messes.

Melissa’s Three Looks:

  • Look One: GAH! This look is a gothic nightmare. The shorts aren’t anything special (why did everyone think sending shorts down the runway was a great way to get a ticket to Fashion Week?!), and I hated the cut of the top. Also, the model’s wig is atrocious.
  • Look Two: I hated the asymmetry of the coat. I’m pretty sure it was a deliberate design choice, but to me, it just came off looking haphazardly made. I also wasn’t wild about the over-sized cuffs.
  • Look Three: I liked this dress – simple and chic, though not exactly groundbreaking. But, as per usual, Melissa just had to add an exaggerated collar. The judges love to complain when somebody is one note – so why haven’t they criticized Melissa more over her collar obsession?
  • Overall: This collection was very Melissa – of the four designers, her looks were the most predictable, based on what we saw from her throughout the course of the season. But, it contained a little too much black and a few too many exaggerated collars for my taste.

Christopher’s Three Looks:

  • Look One: This was WAY too simple. I mean, what was special or fashion-forward about this look? Simple shirt, simple shorts, simple vest. I just didn’t get why Christopher chose to send this down the runway.
  • Look Two: Again, what was special about this? The leather shorts were fine, but 99.9% of women couldn’t wear them. The ostrich belt, allegedly the cool detail here, was so tiny that I didn’t even notice it.
  • Look Three: And, again, SO simple. What the hell? This is a skirt and a bandeau top – no more, no less. Also, I hated the way Christopher placed his silly x-ray print on the back of the dress. It almost looked like his model had a tail!
  • Overall: I’m not sure why Christopher chose these three looks – they didn’t make much impact, and they were all too simple. They didn’t show off any of his skills! I would have liked to see Christopher show a gown to the judges, or at least something with more impact and workmanship.

Bitchy Lines of the Night:

  • “I really don’t feel like she pushed the envelope…her white collared jacket, I feel like I’ve seen it before. What’s so special about this?” (Christopher on Melissa’s collection. Dude may have had a point there).
  • “I’m definitely underwhelmed by Christopher’s collection. He has some very classic pieces and then he has some slutty pieces. It just doesn’t flow.” (Dmitry on Christopher’s collection)
  • “That little sweater and those shorts…if you have the opportunity to go to Fashion Week, you cannot send that down to the runway…It’s so boring. I don’t even understand why you would show this to us today.” (Heidi on one of Christopher’s pieces. I couldn’t agree more, Frau Klum).
  • “I would also rethink the sleeves on that jacket; they look a little Robin Hood to me…just cut them off” (Nina on Melissa’s jacket. It did have ridiculous sleeves).

Random Bits + Pieces:

  • Tim was killing it, wardrobe-wise, during his visits to each designer. His tie during his visit to Christopher was fabulous, especially when paired with his checkered shirt. And then his pocket squares when he visited Fabio were equally fabulous. So dapper, that Tim.
  • In an attempt to be innovative, Christopher played around with bleach on leather. Tim went nuts for the technique, but to me, it looked like…Christopher had accidentally spilled bleach on leather. I just didn’t get why this was so special.
  • I love when Tim mingles with the ordinary folks (aka, the designers’ families). Upon seeing the food Christopher’s family had provided: “This looks so…caloric!”
  • Melissa was super confident about her look when Tim came to visit her in San Francisco, but when she arrived back in New York and headed to the workroom, her confidence evaporated almost instantaneously. I’m not sure what it is with Melissa, but she really seems to choke under pressure. Fabio said it best: “She loves what she’s doing, but she’s not as confident as she should be.”
  • The designers only had five weeks to put together their collections?!? Anybody else remember the halcyon days of Project Runway when the designers had months to create their final collections? No wonder they were almost universally crappy. Producers, let’s adjust this, stat.
  • This week’s guest judge? There wasn’t one. I have to say, the show was just fine without an extra chair; it allowed us to focus on the judges whose opinions I actually respect: Nina, Michael, and, heck, even Heidi. When deciding between a vapid young actress and thin air for the guest judge, thin air appears to come out on top.

The Results: You’re going to Fashion Week! And you’re going to Fashion Week! And you’re going to Fashion Week! Sorry, I didn’t mean to go all Oprah there, but everybody got to move on, making this episode completely meaningless filler. I suppose I am glad that all four are still in it, since I like them all, but this episode was just a waste of time, and I’m a little bitter about that.

(Judges, contestants, and runway photos via Lifetime; Michael Kors’s face of brilliance via Entertainment Weekly)

Emmys 2012: Fashion Recap

Around this time of year, guys get super pumped about Fantasy Football. This always baffles me, because I kind of detest professional football. Then, it hit me: red carpets are my Fantasy Football. Everyone’s gotta have their thing, right? Thus, I feel completely justified in obsessing over each celebrity’s outfit and writing this blog post.

The Emmys, as a telecast, were kind of awful this year. The jokes were stale, the acceptance speeches were rushed, and almost nobody I like won an award (except for Damian Lewis – yay!). The only thing that redeemed the night for me was the fashion; I thought there were a lot of solid looks (and, naturally, some awful ones too – but those are also amusing in their own way). Let’s discuss:

My Best Dressed:

  • Emilia Clarke: I liked how unique this dress was – very modern and fresh and cool. I’m also a big fan of the bold purple florals; it reminded me of Kate Middleton’s recent Prabal Gurung (which I also loved).
  • Heidi Klum: Way to kill it, Frau Klum. I seriously saw this dress and typed “HEIDI KLUM” in all caps in my notes. I mean, Heidi is just completely shutting it down – gorgeous color, lovely hair, perfect draping, the works. This was clearly meant to be a “take that, Seal” dress and it totally succeeded.
  • Tina Fey: For years, Tina Fey’s red carpet dresses have either left me sad or bored. This year, I say: finally! This dress was perfect – I loved the deep burgundy color, and the baroque detailing on top was beautiful. Get it, Liz Lemon.

Honorable Mentions:

There were a lot of great looks last night, and I had a hard time narrowing down my best dressed list to three. So, here are three other looks I adored:

  • Zooey Deschanel: I am so glad Zooey went with a ballgown over an “I’m quirky” cocktail dress with tights, as she is wont to do. This was very Cinderella-esque, but in the best possible way. I loved her hairstyle and the pale powder blue color of the dress.
  • Amy Poehler: Similarly to Tina Fey, Amy Poehler’s red carpet looks are usually tragic, making me pumped that she broke out of the rut. And similar to Heidi Klum, Poehler proved the rule that the best thing you can do for your style is go through a breakup. This was a beautiful dress, and her hair has never looked better.
  • Kerry Washington: I just adored the color of this dress – perfection (though I think it looked far more fabulous on television than it does in this photograph). In any case, this look was stunning – the exact right dress for her.

My Worst Dressed:

  • Ashley Judd: I swear, I can remember a time when Ashley Judd was a red carpet all-star (exhibit A). Her past glories make this look particularly tragic; it is terrifying from head (that awful hair) to toe (the weird way the dress fans out at the bottom). Glamorous Ashley, please come back to us.
  • Lena Headey: I am oh so sad about this look because Lena Headey is awesome and should look fierce on the red carpet, but she never does. I just don’t even know what to say about the top of this dress – it’s a messy gothic catastrophe.
  • Ginnifer Goodwin: I know it’s Ginnifer’s thing to wear avant-garde looks on the red carpet and I give her props for being daring, but this looks like a toddler glued red crepe paper atop a sheer gown. She’s so pretty; what a shame.

Other Fashion Awards of Note:

  • Best Beading: The top of Nicole Kidman’s dress is just to die for (get it?!). I’m less sold about the overall effect of her look, however – something just seems missing to me. I also would have preferred to see her hair in an updo or pulled back into a sleek ponytail.
  • Most Striking: I don’t think many people could pull this dress off, but Julianne Moore totally can (and did). Her red hair with that stark yellow dress was unexpected but amazing.
  • Most Expected Yet Still Awesome: Seriously, what else is Sofia Vergara going to wear to the Emmys? This is totally her kind of dress: curve-hugging, sparkly, and attention-grabbing, but she looks great, like a fabulous Colombian mermaid. I don’t think most people could handle this much sparkle, but she can.

  • Best Old School Glamour: I always find it interesting how the ladies of Mad Men (particularly Elisabeth Moss and Christina Hendricks) often end up dressing in classic, glamorous outfits, almost channeling their show. Jessica Pare clearly did the same, and I loved the effect: a simple but gorgeous dress and absolutely perfect hair. Seriously, love the hair.
  • Most Wonderfully True to Herself: I was so curious to see what Lena Dunham would wear, as she seems like someone who probably feels super awkward walking the red carpet. She did a nice job picking an Emmy-appropriate dress that still felt true to her. Also, her haircut is fantastic and her makeup looked great.
  • Best Indie Vibes: I loved how Leslie Mann’s dress had almost a bohemian vibe, yet still felt glamorous. I loved the vibrant yellow skirt and thought the green jewelry added just the right touch.

  • Most Adorable: Seriously, I just want to put Kiernan Shipka in my pocket. This dress was adorable – cute color, and look at her tiny little bag!
  • Best Neon: I know neon has been trendy of late, but it never seemed like something that could (or should) translate to the red carpet. But I liked Julie Bowen’s dress; she was definitely pulling the neon off. Not so sure about her hair though – maybe a tad too beachy?
  • Best Color: There’s nothing revolutionary about the silhouette of Archie Panjabi’s dress, but I’m semi-obsessed with its color. Seriously beautiful.

  • The Maize & Blue Award of Excellence: Anyone who wears Michigan colors on the red carpet grabs my attention, and I (mostly) liked Hayden Panettiere’s blue and gold Marchesa. I like the blue fabric at the bottom of the dress, but I’m less sold on the piece that’s draped over the top; it felt like a bit much.
  • The Sleek & Stunning Award: This dress was so simple, but I thought Edie Falco killed it. I love the effect of the gold belt, and she chose the perfect hairstyle for this dress.
  • Best Floral Touches: I adored Sarah Hyland’s dress overall, but it was the straps, with their delicate flower details, that truly sold me on the look. Her hair, however, feels a bit “prom” to me.

  • The Christina Hendricks Junior Award: Kat Dennings was wearing a pretty (albeit simple) dress but – let’s be honest – that’s not what’s pulling focus here. Maybe you should reign those ladies in a bit, girlfriend.
  • Best Hair: I love Christina Hendricks’s hair – perfect old school Hollywood glamour. I sort of like her dress, but the belt does not thrill me.
  • Worst Hair: Oh dear lord. Connie Britton should fire whoever did this to her hair. I mean, I just can’t. This makes me particularly sad because Connie Britton is awesome (she’s Tami Taylor, y’all!). Sidenote: I also thought this dress – and particularly its halter top – was a poor choice.

  • Most Dull, Round 1: I’m so sad about this dress; Emily VanCamp should be a red carpet all-star. This tweet pretty much sums up my frustration.
  • Most Dull, Round 2: I wish Kristen Wiig would embrace color; her red carpet looks tend to be drab. This dress is kind of delicate and pretty, but it’s also sort of blah.
  • Most Unnecessarily Matronly: I loved Mayim Bialik’s hair, but her dress has way too much fabric. I was rooting for her to have a “Rachel Leigh Cook in She’s All That” moment (aka, geeky girl goes sexy). Alas, it was not to be.

  • Best Use of a Bedsheet: I feel like Claire Danes just thought, “Screw it. I’m pregnant, so I’m just gonna drape a bed sheet over my bump and call it a day.” It’s not a terrible dress, per se, but it could use some tailoring or a little more pizazz.
  • Most Gothic: What I like about January Jones is that she is always daring on the red carpet; even when she misses, you could never accuse her of playing it safe. I’m on the fence about this look: it’s dramatic and striking, but maybe just a little too dramatic. Also, can we talk about her makeup? For a pale girl, she’s wearing far too much black makeup, and the effect is slightly terrifying.
  • Most Reminiscent of My Grandmother’s Couch: The title of the award says it all: Julianna Marguiles is wearing a dress whose fabric strongly resembles a couch my grandmother used to own. The thing is, though, I can’t decide if that makes this dress tacky or fabulous. When I initially saw it, I thought “hell, no,” but the dress is actually growing on me. I think I will call this one a winner.

  • Most Reminiscent of a Space Alien: Dear Zosia Mamet, your dress is really strange. I know you are quirky, but there’s quirky and then there’s…weird. And this is definitely the latter. Just odd.
  • Most Disappointing: Michelle Dockery’s dress saddens me; I wanted her to have a “wow” fashion moment, but it apparently was not in the cards. This dress looks dull and wrinkled.
  • The “I Can’t Believe That’s My Girl!” Award: Dear Anna Chlumsky, you look so freaking glamorous! I can’t believe it. Where has time gone?

Who were your red carpet favorites?

(Photos via People, Huffington Post, and Suicide Blonde)

Project Runway: Season 10, Episode 10

After this week’s episode of Project Runway, I’m going to have to rename the show Project Friendship. The producers can attempt to manufacture all the drama they want, but you cannot convince me that these designers aren’t friends. From the chatting at dinner to the funny moments in the workroom to everyone helping everyone else out, I have come to the conclusion that these designers are practically besties (except Dmitry and Elena, because, you know, that would mean hell had frozen over). I know the producers think nice people are lame, but I like seeing the camaraderie – it allows you to focus more on the fashion, which is (allegedly) the point of this show. With that said, let’s get to discussing those fashions.

The Challenge: The designers headed to Radio City Music Hall, where they were greeted by Tim and treated to a performance by the Rockettes. As the Rockettes took the stage (joined shortly thereafter by Heidi, who displayed a solid talent for kicking in time with the professionals), the challenge became obvious: the designers would have to create a costume for the Rockettes.

My Top Three:

  • Christopher: I absolutely LOVED Christopher’s skyline top. What a brilliant concept, and oh so perfect for the Rockettes. I agreed with the judges and too would have given Christopher the win because his idea was just so much better than anyone else’s. However, as with all the looks in my Top Three this week, I found flaws in Christopher’s dress. Namely, the skirt – it looked a little meh, and I don’t think it would work well during the trademark Rockette high kick sequences.
  • Dmitry: I was a bit on the fence on this look. I thought parts of it were amazing. The fringed skirt, for instance, was beautiful and moved well. I also adored his color palette: the midnight blue with the black was striking. On top of all that, the garment looked incredibly well-made; as the camera panned in on the details during the critique, you could see that everything was perfectly executed. I wasn’t wild, however, about the cutout zigzag thing going on. It almost looked space-like to me, a little “Star Trek meets Flapper.”
  • Melissa: I liked how modern this dress was – I think Melissa met one of the key requirements of the challenge, which was to create a splashy, sparkly uniform but also make it modern and cool. However, this costume was not without its problems. I’m not sure about the collar – that look works on Melissa’s more high concept designs, but maybe not on a Rockette costume. The dress was also undeniably short. In the words of Frau Klum, “You have to have your bits covered.”

My Bottom Three:

  • Ven: I did not find this look offensive, but it was a definite snoozefest. The shape was too simple and the pale color, while pretty, wasn’t providing the pizazz that Ven needed to do well with this challenge. Also, the fabric was quite odd; there appeared to be some sort of mesh netting thing going on?
  • Elena: Throughout the episode, people commented that Elena was making a marching band costume. Even Elena herself made this comment, yet – puzzlingly – she did nothing to remedy the situation. This look was just hideous. I’m not sure how Elena escaped elimination for creating something this tacky, unsophisticated, and cheap-looking.
  • Fabio: I really hated this, and I would have put Fabio’s look in the bottom before Sonjia’s (the judges, clearly, disagreed). Every season on PR, there’s a designer who skates through the competition, never making anything remarkable – and to me, that’s Fabio this season. I detested the bright, metallic silver fabric, and this look didn’t say “Rockettes” to me at all; it was more Xena: Warrior Princess.

Bitchy Lines of the Night:

  • “But honestly, it doesn’t read Rockettes…it reads cheerleader.” (Ven on Elena. Clearly their dinnertime bonding worked wonders).
  • “I feel like you should go to the Lord & Taylor accessory wall and look for a baton.” (Tim, on Elena’s band uniform-esque garment. I love that, even during a moment of fashion crisis, Tim remembered to get in his product placement. What a professional).
  • “Dmitry’s garment is very high school dance team.” (Christopher. Initially, I agreed with this assessment, but I think Dmitry – for lack of a better phrase – made this look work).
  • “When I look at Sonjia’s costume, all I think is bawk bawk bawk bawk…” (This soundbite was amazing. There’s nothing I can type that approximates the gloriousness of dour Dmitry imitating a chicken).
  • “I mean, just think about it. You’re going to see 36 identical dresses made of feathers. It might be like a turkey-fest up there.” (So good, Nina G. So good).
  • “To me, she looks like a Las Vegas cheerleader. I mean, it’s just tacky.” (Michael on Elena. I have to say, MK has not been as quotable the past few episodes. What’s going on, Kors?)
  • “It felt like it would actually be a beautiful costume…for the circus.” (Debra on Elena. Oh, snap).
  • “A molting group of Rockettes is not really something that would be great.” (Thank you, Debra Messing, for conjuring up this hilarious image in my mind).

Random Bits + Pieces:

  • Did anyone else think that Dmitry, as a former professional ballroom dancer, had a leg up on this challenge (Rockettes pun totally intended)? It seems like his background would be tremendously helpful here, and I guess it was since he made a fantastic garment.
  • They have never shown people going over budget at Mood before, and I have always wondered whether it happens, or if the producers intervene and give the designers more money. But I guess it does, as we saw Elena struggle with her budget ($150 over!) and end up with far less than she needed or wanted. Honestly, how can you go that far over and not realize it?
  • I typed the previous bullet at the beginning of the episode, but later on we learned: wait, the producers do intervene, in the form of giving the designers the chance to go back to Mood and get more fabric. This has never happened before, and I was a bit shocked they allowed it. My conspiracy theory? The producers loved Christopher’s garment and wanted it to win, so they gave him the opportunity to get the starry fabric he needed to complete the night sky portion of his dress.
  • Speaking of Christopher, he was flat-out adorable this episode. My favorite moment? “Thank you, Debra Messing.”
  • Sonjia’s head wraps are fabulous. I wish she designed clothing with a similar aesthetic to what she chooses to wear herself; she has such a cool personal style, but it doesn’t always translate to the runway.
  • This episode confirmed to me that Melissa must be a genuinely nice person, because all the designers were eager to help her: Christopher gave her money at Mood, Ven helped her sew her garment, and Fabio, Sonjia, and Christopher worked on reattaching her zipper.
  • Did anyone catch this? Elena said, “I think I’m going home” and there was Ven, nodding in agreement beside her. Sorry, buddy. The joke’s on you.
  • This week’s guest judge? Debra Messing, who makes an excellent judge. Normally, celebrities contribute very little to the conversation, but Messing always delivers thoughtful (and funny) critiques.
  • Hearing Tim say, “bitch slap that bitch” is fabulous. The end.

The Results: Whoa. I was shocked by this week’s result: in the battle for last place, the judges sent Ven packing before Elena. I truly thought Ven’s prior body of work, which was superior to Elena’s overall, would save him. Even Tim could not contain his surprise, saying, “Well, isn’t this a bit of a wake-up call? Look who’s going home. It’s a scenario I don’t think any of you wrote.” Indeed.

If you watched this week’s Project Runway, what did you think? Were you surprised that Ven (cross-dresser name Origami Rose, thank you Michael Kors) went home? Will Elena ever stop crying? And how bananas does next week’s baby clothes challenge look?

(Rockettes and judges photos via Lifetime; Michael Kors’s face of brilliance via Entertainment Weekly)

Project Runway: Season 10, Episode 9

This week’s Project Runway featured a time-tested theme: “let’s humanize the designers we’ve previously depicted as Bitchy Fashion Villains by having them break down in tears when their families visit.” Even though they do this every year, I will admit that it was pretty cute to see the designers get so worked up. Even Robot Ven shed a few tears. Look, everybody – Ven is becoming a real live boy!

What about the fashion, you ask? Let’s get down to it.

The Challenge: Egregious product placement alert: it’s the HP Touch Smart Challenge! Tim tasked the designers with creating their own pattern, which would then be printed into fabric for them to use in creating a look that reflected their heritage. While I liked the idea of the designers getting the chance to design their own textiles, I was a little less thrilled with all the shilling for HP.

My Top Three:

  • Dmitry: I adored the cutouts in the jacket; they looked so cool. I also loved his print – I just thought it was a pretty pattern. The judges complained that the print was “hidden” under the jacket, but I thought it looked fantastic that way. Bravo, Belarus, yet again.
  • Elena: This was the first time I think I have ever liked a design of Elena’s. This look was cool, modern, and wearable – all without losing Elena’s signature aesthetic. She created a very interesting print too. Nicely done.
  • Melissa: I loved the pattern Melissa created, perhaps because it was so un-Melissa. The cut of the dress was simple, but it fit very well. It’s not a revolutionary garment, but I give Melissa high marks for doing something so outside her comfort zone.

My Bottom Three:

  • Gunnar: I was really bored by this; it was just a jacket and a skirt, with nothing at all innovative going on. I wish Gunnar had used the print for the dress instead of the coat.
  • Ven: I initially found Ven’s dress non-offensive, but the more I looked at it, the less I liked it. The dress almost looked cheap to me – just a cheap white fabric and a slightly tacky print. I didn’t like that Ven only used a strip of the print; the asymmetry just didn’t work. I also thought the rose detailing on the skirt felt odd (not to mention, we have seen it a million times from Ven).
  • Christopher: Two words: snooze fest. This looked dark and drab, and it’s a silhouette we’ve seen many times before. I also hated the gathering of the dress in the front. Overall, this outfit just looked sad.

Bitchy Lines of the Night:

  • “Everyone’s prints are kinda crazy. Dmitry’s…kinda looks like cowboy handkerchiefs…Elena’s is like a kindergarten doodle.” (Christopher, clearly the arbiter of taste when it comes to printed fabric).
  • “Sonjia’s print, I’m not sure. Right away I thought pajamas. I don’t get it.” (Oh Ven, do you really “get” anything besides sculpted rose bodices?)
  • “I see an homage to a menstrual cycle…I just hope no one’s offended by it, because they look like maxi pads.” (Thank you, Tim Gunn, for providing a literal laugh-out-loud moment).
  • “To me, she looks like a Hawaiin airline hostess…I’m just waiting for her to put this lei around my neck and welcome me.” (Heidi. Over the years, Frau Klum has really gotten snarkier, perhaps because she’s learning from the best in the business – Michael and Nina. Love it).
  • But the print itself is not compelling. It looks like a sheet of postage stamps. She looks like a suburban twirler, but she’s missing a baton and a hat.” (Once again, Michael says two completely different things within the same thought, yet the combination of ridicularity is compelling).

Random Bits + Pieces:

  • Christopher said he couldn’t believe the competition was “half over.” To that, I say, “is that all?” What does it say about this season that I feel like it’s been dragging on forever? I love me some PR, but I’m a little surprised we’re only halfway there, if Christopher is to be believed.
  • Gunnar said he needed to win the competition so that, among other things, he could “buy his mom a boob job.” Um, for serious?
  • I loved seeing everyone’s families. Some favorites? Dmitry getting a video message from his dad (“Greetings from your family in Belarus!”) and Fabio’s super adorable boyfriend. Awww!
  • This week’s guest judges: Anya and Mondo, winners of the past two seasons. While Anya offered constructive criticism, Monda was a tad bitchy. Perhaps he was tripping on his new found power from being on the other side of the runway, so to speak. Also, Mondo telling someone that something is over-designed? Pot, meet kettle. You’re both black.

The Results: The judges gave Dmitry the win – finally! Thank you judges, for finally taking notice of Dmitry’s awesomeness. The judges sent Gunnar home, which felt right – as with Alicia last week, I felt it was “his time” to go. Gunnar left on a very positive, grateful note – he made a classy exit, and that’s the best way to go.

(Runway and judges photos via Lifetime; Michael Kors’s face of brilliance via Entertainment Weekly)

Project Runway: Season 10, Episode 5

On this week’s Project Runway, the designers were split into two gigantic teams, prompting exasperation, outrage, and a whole host of other juvenile emotions from the group. It’s becoming increasingly apparent that none of the designers’ parents taught their children how to play well with others. A sample quip from Ven reflected the general attitude in the workroom: “Honestly, I want to kill myself.” With that kind of positive attitude, how could the designers possibly go wrong?

The Challenge: Heidi and Nina tasked the designers with creating a cohesive collection targeted at “the working woman.” Each team also had to style a photo shoot featuring their looks; the winning team’s photo spread would appear in Marie Claire. While I thought this challenge produced good results, I was still bored by its premise. Can’t we get some crazier challenges up in here?

My Top Three:

  • Dmitry: My current front runner; I think Dmitry has been criminally underrated all season. His stuff is understated but always impeccable, which is perfect for a “wear to work” challenge. Loved the black and navy combo, and how he color-blocked it in a cool way. The little cap sleeves were also cute.
  • Melissa: I liked this, albeit in a “Judy Jetson goes to work” sort of way. I adored the stark blue color and thought the shape of the dress was nice. The collar and zipper were a bit cray cray, but I liked how inventive this piece was. Overall, I agreed with Nina – this look was a showstopper. It was also good to see Melissa (finally!) embrace color.
  • Ven: I know he always does the same thing, but I love Ven’s aesthetic nonetheless. The top was just perfect and I loved the stark black and white combo.

My Bottom Three:

  • Elena: This look was too drab, and I hated how the jacket’s sleeves were tight but the rest of the jacket was billowy – what an odd fit! This did not look like something anyone I know would wear to work.
  • Fabio: An utterly boring garment. I’m channeling Nina Garcia here, but what about this piece was exciting or innovative? Michael called this his favorite garment of Team 5 and to that I can only say, “Ummmm, what?!?”
  • Elena/Alicia: The pants (made by Alicia) were nice; I love a good wide-leg trouser. But the blouse was hideous, making it Elena’s second strike of the week. I hated the billowing sleeves, which seem to be an Elena trademark. If Melissa can embrace color, Elena can sure as heck find a way to escape her oppressive, bulky jacket fascination.

Bitchy Lines of the Night:

  • “Oh my god. I’d rather eat dirt than work with Elena.” (Gunnar. I would bet my life she feels the same way about you, honey).
  • “Raul is the last person sitting there, like the schoolyard reject.” (Nathan. That was way harsh, Tai).
  • “I just hope he can deliver…for a change.” (Dmitry, with some stealth bitchiness there at the end of that sentence).
  • “I feel like Elena just escaped from the woods. She is an animal right now.” (Christopher on Elena. When your fellow designers repeatedly liken you to a wild animal, you might want to reconsider your behavior).
  • “I’m going to be candid with you. I was very, very worried about you because I was anticipating walking in to a hot mess.” (Oh, Tim. Never change).
  • “It looks like a f&$%ing drag queen cocktail hour on our side of the room.” (Gunnar, in a hilarious assessment of his team).
  • “Everybody hates Elena. Even if they say they like her, they hate her.” (Dmitry. Come on, dour Eastern Europeans! Don’t turn on each other now!)
  • “I think Ven is one-way monkey. Oh no…he’s one-trick pony, that’s what I meant.” (Dmitry, delivering a delightfully adorable insult. And, no, I did not forget articles in that quotation – that’s exactly what our favorite Belorussian said).
  • “Her boobs were kind of all over the place. It was kind of like a souffle that went down.” (Heidi on Gunnar’s dress).
  • “And I don’t hate a lot of things at all. That I hated.” (Heidi on Elena’s jacket sleeves. Tell us how you really feel, Frau Klum).
  • “When that dress came down the runway, I thought it looked like two puppies wrestling in a sack.” (Joanna on Gunnar’s dress. Line of the night, by far).

Random Bits + Pieces:

  • As you may have noticed above, I found more bitchy lines for this week’s episode than ever before. These team challenges bring out the worst (and by worst, I actually mean best/most entertaining) in these designers. What a train wreck.
  • The producers actually showed Nathan tonight! After getting zero screentime the first four weeks, he was all over the place this episode. Naturally, I assumed this meant he would be eliminated – but the producers fooled me. Perhaps this signals the beginning of an upswing for Nathan?
  • Raul deserves a major party foul for his lack of teamwork. At one point he said, “I’m not going to change my direction just because they want me to.” I get the self-preservation thing, but he seemed hell bent against working with his team from the start.
  • Tonight’s guest judge was Joanna Coles, aka the only part of PR All-Stars I miss. I wish she could be on every episode.
  • If my personal Top Three for this week (Dmitry, Ven, and Melissa) were the final three of the season, I would be really happy. Of course, knowing PR, that will never happen and someone egregiously undeserving will sneak in there.

The Result: Melissa got the win (hear, hear!) and Raul got sent home, though not before hurling a steam of insults at Elena (ummm, what was that about??). I am more than okay with this week’s outcome; Raul consistently created tacky garments and needs a major attitude adjustment.

What did you think of this week’s episode? Did the right designer get sent home? And why can’t everyone just get along?

(Runway and judges photos via Lifetime; Michael Kors’s face of brilliance via Entertainment Weekly)

Project Runway: Season 10, Episode 4

Last night’s episode of Project Runway was one of the stranger I can recall seeing in all ten seasons of this wacky design and sewing safari we know and love. After the dust settled, my major question was: have these people never seen PR before? Did they not expect that it would be an emotionally draining experience? The answer to both questions appeared to be “no,” as nearly every contestant seemed to be mid-nervous breakdown or teetering on the verge of one.

In summary: everything unraveled. Andrea disappeared in the middle of the night, then sent an email saying she was quitting. Kooan declared he was leaving for vague and incomprehensible reasons. Fabio started weeping and said he wanted to leave but wouldn’t. The producers brought Raul back because, in Tim’s words, the competition must be kept fair (or because, in my words, they needed to make sure they had enough contestants to film their pre-planned number of episodes). In any case, the workroom was crazy this week, and with so much drama off the runway, the clothing shown on the runway seemed lackluster in comparison. Let’s discuss.

The Challenge: The designers headed to Michael Kors’s flagship store where Tim tasked them with designing an outfit for a “woman on the go” that was consistent with their own aesthetic. Everyone kept stressing that the look had to be “in their own aesthetic,” which I found odd. Aren’t the designers supposed to create everything in their own aesthetic? It’s not like Tim has ever opened a challenge by saying, “designers, please create something highly derivative of McQueen.”

Anyway, armed with these maddeningly vague challenge parameters, the designers set off to Parsons to gather supplies. While none of the finished products were trainwrecks, I found most of this week’s designs underwhelming.

My Top Three:

  • Gunnar: I hate to give props to anything created by Satan’s bitchiest minion, but I liked this dress and thought it deserved better than middle of the pack. The color palette was unique and the skirt was interesting.
  • Sonjia: The grey was a little muted, but I loved this garment and agreed with the judges giving Sonjia the win. To my eye, the dress fit perfectly and the way Sonjia worked the fabric was gorgeous. Perhaps it wasn’t a revolutionary dress, but all the effort and detail here were fabulous, particularly the little ruffle in front. Nina called the look “conservative yet sexy,” and I concur.
  • Ven: Ven has a look, and sometime soon (mark my words), the judges will begin to criticize him for always sticking to that look. But, my thought is: why change something when it works so well? This was a cool dress, with a nice silhouette and pretty pleating on top. I also liked the zipper work – it added an edgy and unexpected element to the design.

My Bottom Three:

  • Raul: This was just weird – a pair of oddly-fitted pants with a jacket that resembled a pointy apron pinned to the front. The more I look at them, the more the fit of the pants bothers me. If Raul wanted to prove his skills as a menswear designer, making this garment was not the way to do it.
  • Elena: Like Ven, Elena has a very specific, very distinctive aesthetic. Sadly, that aesthetic appears to be “gothic space alien.” The coat here was just plain bizarre – who would wear something that bulky? Completely impractical, and even if she was going for avant-garde, there’s nothing special about this design.
  • Melissa: I want Melissa to be one of my favorite designers, but for that to happen, she’s going to need to experiment with a shade other than black. I saw this look and thought, UGH. Just stop with the sad black, Melissa. Beyond that, this garment was shapeless; the model looked like a hobo who was wearing every item of clothing she owned on her back.

Bitchy Lines of the Night:

  • “Can I be blunt? It looks sad.” (Tim to Nathan, delivered in the patented Tim Gunn tone of mournful incredulity).
  • “I think Raul has no point of view, to be honest, because everything he does is just a mess. He needs to go home again.” (Ven, clearly in the running for this season’s Miss Congeniality prize).
  • “It looks like a hairdressing smock. She was cutting her hair, there was a fire in the beauty salon, she belted it, and she ran out in her zebra dress.” (Michael on Buffi. I live for Michael creating fanciful little stories like this).

Random Bits + Pieces:

  • Tonight’s guest judges: Hayden Panettiere and Rachel Roy. I’ll let you guess which is which, but one of these ladies is a legitimate fashion authority and one is not. On second thought, I’ll just tell you: I was impressed by Roy’s thoughtful critiques and underwhelmed by Panettiere’s (failed) attempts to say anything of substance.
  • “Way to be immature, Andrea” says Gunnar, himself the very picture of maturity.
  • Buffi began growing on me, personality-wise, so naturally she was the designer sent home. I’ll miss her ridiculous (faux?) accent, her bubbly disposition, and her colorful albeit highly questionable personal style.
  • Sonjia, with her gigantic hair bow, seemed to be channeling the ridiculous fasteners favored by Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie. But, you know what? I kind of dig it – Sonjia, unlike Buffi, has great personal style, which bodes well for her design sensibility.
  • I was baffled by Christopher’s unsolicited advice to Buffi. Thanks for the “constructive criticism” buddy, but it’s kind of condescending to question Buffi’s choices and say she should use your fabric instead.

The Result: The judges sent Buffi home in an auf-ing foreshadowed throughout the episode. I would have preferred seeing Raul sent home again, if only because I find Buffi more entertaining (clearly a legitimate basis on which to judge a design competition).

If you watched last night’s Project Runway, what did you think? Will Melissa, Dmitry, and Elena ever discover the rainbow of colors that exists beyond basic black? Will any of the other designers crack under the pressure? And who will get sent packing next week?

(Runway and judges photos via Lifetime; Michael Kors’s face of brilliance via Entertainment Weekly)