Tag Archives: television

Why Can’t Television Shows Just Die Gracefully?

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(Stop reading if you haven’t seen last night’s episode of Downton Abbey. Seriously. Stop.)

Back when I wrote this post about Arrested Development, it occurred to me that basically every single TV show I’ve ever loved has declined in quality over the years (the exception being Arrested Development itself, likely because it only lasted three short seasons – and even then, it had the debatable Charlize Theron arc). It seems all shows follow a familiar pattern: they tend to hit their creative peak around the second season, and then it’s just one long decline into mediocrity.

By way of illustration, let’s conduct a brief survey of the trajectory of some shows I have loved over the years:

  • Friends: For sentimental reasons, this is probably my all-time favorite show, but even I can concede that running ten seasons was excessive. The peak years were seasons 2-4 (season 4, in particular, stands out because of the trivia game and Chandler in a box). After that, the show became a never-ending series of increasingly implausible contrivances to keep Ross and Rachel apart. Sure, it was nice to see them finally get together at the end, but it would’ve been nicer still if I hadn’t had to wait ten damn years for that moment.
  • Alias: Seasons 1 & 2 were brilliant: the show was smart, fast-paced, exciting, and super-addictive. Then Alias went off the deep end by having Sydney “die” and Vaughn remarry the evil Lauren. I’m actually still not fully over that one. Vaughn, how could you?!?
  • The Office: Season 2 of The Office is, quite possibly, my all time favorite season of any TV show, ever. But the show declined in quality quickly, and I quit watching altogether sometime shortly after Pam and Jim got married. Now, the show is a shell of its former self, and I’m still baffled that they thought it was a good idea to continue after Steve Carrell left.
  • Lost: Much like Alias, this had a brilliant first two seasons. Then it delved into crazy mythology and became largely incomprehensible. I watched this through until the end, but by the time everyone reunited in that damn church, I had no freaking clue how we got there or what it all meant.
  • Grey’s Anatomy: Remember when this show was a perfect blend of medical ridiculousness and gut-wrenching melodrama? Those halcyon days when Izzie cut Denny’s LVAD wire, when Christina ran out on her wedding to Burke, and when Meredith did her “pick me, choose me, love me” speech? Then do you remember the days after that, when Izzie had sex with Denny’s ghost, Izzie and George “fell in love” (as if), and Izzie performed surgery on a deer in the Seattle Grace parking lot? Come to think of it, maybe we can blame this one entirely on Katherine Heigl.

Anyway, these are just a few examples – I can think of more (Gilmore Girls, The West Wing, Weeds, etc.). But all this is to say that it’s an obvious trend, and one that I know I’m not the first to point out. I get why it happens – if you’ve got a successful, money making show, I suppose any good TV executive would want to keep the money train rolling. I just wish it didn’t work that way. I wish TV shows were allowed to live out their natural creative lifespan and then die gracefully, well before we were treated to ridiculous spectacles like ghost sex on Grey’s and time jumping on Lost. Quite simply, I wish creativity trumped money. I mean, sure, I’d be bummed when an awesome show went off the air after just a few seasons, but in the long run, isn’t having a few great seasons more satisfying than watching something you once loved slowly devolve into really, really crappy television?

So, why am I talking about all this now? Well, recent developments on Downton Abbey have reinforced the idea to me. Namely, last night (or last December, if you watched it in the UK) Mary and Matthew had a baby, Matthew sped off in his fancy car to share the news with the family, and then you can guess what happened next: oopsies, he got in a car wreck, and before you know it, you’re watching the fake blood dripping down Dan Stevens’s face as a legion of Downton Abbey fans across the nation weeps. Womp womp:

dead matthew crawley

But here’s the thing: it didn’t have to play out this way. I remember, back when Downton first premiered, that there was talk of Julian Fellowes doing three seasons. Then the show’s popularity skyrocketed, and suddenly that plan went out the window. But what if it hadn’t? What if we had been treated to three well-plotted seasons, all working toward an endgame? The show might have been truly brilliant, but we’ll never know. Instead, the last two seasons have grown increasingly sloppy and haphazard, and now we have season four to look forward to, where we’ll watch the show cope with the loss of one-half of its defining couple. Plus, who knows how many more seasons we’ll have after that, and what crazy twists they’ll bring with them. (Note: This is not to say I’m above watching all of this unfold. I’m too invested now, so I’ll stick with the show to the end. Plus, even at its worst, I love Downton more than most things on TV).

I’ve read criticisms from outraged fans who actually blame Dan Stevens for leaving the show. This makes zero sense to me. In fact, I think he’s figured out something that most of the other folks involved with the production have not: that sometimes, it’s best just to call it a day. Maybe Stevens is the smart one for getting out now, while the show is still culturally relevant, as opposed to several years from now, when the magic will have worn off.

Did you watch last night’s episode of Downton? If so, what did you think of the loss of Matthew Crawley? And do you agree that it’s about time to wrap this show up?

(Image via The Daily Mirror)

New Fall Television: What Are You Watching?

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For the last few years, I’ve tried to avoid watching new TV shows when the fall rolled around. For awhile, it was because I was traveling constantly for work and was never home to watch television anyway. Last fall, it was because it was 1L year and I needed to study a lot. This year? I still need to study a lot, but something crucial has changed in my life: I got a DVR.

I know, I know. Welcome to 2004, Laura. Still, this magical little device has kind of revolutionized my TV watching habits. And by “revolutionized,” I clearly mean, “encouraged me to watch more TV.” Like, a lot more TV, if we’re being honest here.

To that end, I now have three brand new shows that I’m semi-obsessed with. In my opinion, these are the best new shows of the fall season. DVR or not, you should be watching them.

Call the Midwife

This is my favorite show to come around in a long time. I’ve heard a lot of people compare it to Downton Abbey, which I don’t understand. Yeah, it’s on PBS, and yeah, it’s historical, but the similarities stop there. I love me some Downton Abbey (and I’m mildly obsessed with some Downton Abbey), but I think this show is better. There. I said it.

Why is it so great? First, it’s beautifully shot and impeccably styled – it portrays 1950s London to a tee. Second, the actresses who play the midwives are all excellent (my particular favorite is Miranda Hart, who plays Chummy. She’s hilarious). Third, and most importantly, it tells wonderful stories. The show follows midwives as they work with patients in London’s East End. Each week there are a few new patients, and their stories are always gripping, unexpected, and so moving. Seriously, I have cried (or at least welled up) at every single episode.

Nashville

Nashville follows dueling country superstars, one at the beginning of her career (Hayden Panettiere) and the other seemingly nearing the end (Connie Britton). The show is a lot like a soap opera, but it’s elevated from your typical soap opera with snappy dialogue, great actors, and intriguing storylines. There is a ton of stuff going on here – love triangles, family secrets, musical numbers, political intrigue, and commentaries on modern celebrity – but the show juggles it all really well.

The Mindy Project

I love Mindy Kaling, so I would have made it a point to watch this show, DVR magic or not. I will admit that The Mindy Project has not been quite as funny as I had hoped it would be, but I like it and am willing to give it time (I thought New Girl started similarly slow last fall, and it became a great show once it found its groove).

What do I like about the show? Chris Messina (he’s just the best, in everything, ever), the pop culture references, the crazy delusional confidence that the character of Mindy has (“It’s so weird being my own role model”), and the fact that we all know Mindy and Danny are totally meant to be.

What are you watching this fall?

(Images sources: Call the Midwife, Nashville, and The Mindy Project)

Project Runway All-Stars: S2, E2

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Last week, I mentioned that I was a bit fatigued by Project Runway, but this week it occurred to me that this season is actually off to a promising start. The All-Stars episodes are one hour, instead of an hour and a half like Season 10, and I think the brisk pace suits the show – less workroom drama, more focus on the fashion. I’m also finding most of the cast appealing (and, when not appealing, at least interesting), and the fashions the designers turned out this week were solid overall. All in all, I’d say the second round of All-Stars is off to a much better start than the first edition.

The Challenge: Carolyn and some random executive for the Jones Group (who?) tasked the designers with creating a party look for a night on the town, inspired both by disco and a Nine West shoe (product placement alert!) of their choosing. Maybe it’s just me, but disco seems like one of the more random inspiration points for a challenge – of every era and style you could choose, you choose that? Plus, the word “disco” doesn’t exactly scream fashion-forward to me. But I guess that was the challenge?

My Top Three:

  • Joshua: This was a striking look, and I absolutely loved the vibrant turquoise fabric Joshua chose. I also thought the pantsuit was a nice choice – it evoked the ’70s but still looked wearable today. Joshua also include lots of nice details: the shiny lapels, the cute belt, and the cutout in the back. Joshua may be ridiculous, but I’m liking his work this season.
  • Laura Kathleen: She said her look was meant to evoke Diane von Furstenberg in the ’70s, and since I love DVF, I loved this look. The jacket was cute, but I loved the outfit even more without it since you could really see how striking (and fun!) the jumpsuit was.
  • Emilio: I just loved Emilio’s dress; he somehow made hot pink and hot yellow shiny fabric look sleek and chic. I thought this did a great job of fusing together the disco aesthetic with a ballgown – which is an odd combination, but I think Emilio pulled it off.

My Bottom Three:

  • Wendy: Oh, dear Lord. I don’t think I got the full effect of this outfit’s atrociousness from glimpses in the workroom, but I sure did when it walked down the runway. First, the bell-bottom pants? They were way too flared, and the material Wendy used for them was flat-out tacky. Second, this look was way overdone, particularly the metal chains hanging off the pants and the black gloves. The top was okay, but not good enough to save the outfit (or Wendy herself).
  • Suede: I hated Suede’s dress – it looked like a bulky, lumpy, wrinkled sheet. Wait, not just a wrinkled sheet, a wrinkled sparkly gold sheet. There was way too much fabric and way too little design in this garment. I cannot believe this wasn’t in the judges’ bottom three.
  • Andrae: My first thought was that it literally looked like Andrae’s model had a raw piece of purple tulle wrapped around her – what the hell? Also, once she took off her “coat,” there was nothing to the look; you were left with a simple pencil skirt and rather plain top.

Bitchy Lines of the Night:

  • “Laura Kathleen is a sweet girl, but she can be a little annoying at times. I’m more interested in being in the mix with more of the real designers, like Emilio and Uli. Those are people I feel like are more designing on my level.” (I’m sorry, but was Althea this big of a bitch in her original season? I don’t remember her being this catty).
  • “If you want to make a costume for the ’70s, Wendy is killing this challenge.” (Laura Kathleen on Wendy. Guys, Laura Kathleen wants you to know that she’s mean, she has no friends in this competition, and she’s in it to win it).
  • “It’s like Mad Max. ‘Welcome to Thunderdome!’” (Joshua on Wendy Pepper’s look. Please note that the way he pronounced “Thunderdome” was fabulous).
  • “Just the word ‘blazer’ makes me shrivel up a little.” (Joanna to Laura Kathleen. Girl, what do you have against a good blazer?!)
  • “So, I’m feeling a bit of white man’s overbite when I look at this.” (Every week, there’s a moment that reaffirms my love for Joanna Coles, and this exchange with Suede was that moment. One, Joanna demonstrated the white man’s overbite dance. Two, she reminded me of Billy Crystal in my all-time favorite movie).
  • “I see these Mamma Mia inspired bell-bottom pants and I’m like…puuuke.” (Joshua on Wendy Pepper. He may be overly bitchy at times, but at least you can count on him for a good soundbite).
  • “And then there’s Suede’s. I’m not gonna dance in that dress. It’s like you’re stuck in a golden refrigerator.” (Uli on Suede. His dress was solid gold, but I’m a little lost on the refrigerator part of the analogy).
  • “That outfit belongs on the streets, in some back road at five in the morning.” (Uli on Wendy Pepper. Uli was a bit sassy – albeit in the sweetest way possible – this episode, no?)
  • “Talk to me about how this is referencing the ’70s…I mean, perhaps this was a couple of years in the ’70s where I was asleep.” (Joanna to Uli. Oh, Joanna. We know you weren’t sleeping during the ’70s, but rather raving at Studio 54).

Random Bits + Pieces:

  • “I immediately gravitated toward the orange heel. It just kind of spoke to me.” I don’t think I even need to tell you that it was Kayne who spoke these words.
  • “To create a look in a day, that’s no time at all. So if you see a glue gun coming out…honey, that’s okay.” Honey, it’s not okay. In saying this, Anthony Ryan summed up my basic problem with this show: they simply don’t give the designers enough time. C’mon, producers. Get with the program.
  • “You know what I like about this challenge? Nightlife. Slutty. Casanova.” I’m not sure why it’s a plus to associate yourself with “slutty” designs, Casanova, but whatever. Also, note that he put air quotes around all three words, a la Joey Tribiani.
  • Okay, Suede and Wendy Pepper? That’s like the weird friendship EVER. Maybe Wendy can use her new-found influence over Suede to make him stop talking in the third person. Forever.
  • Moment #2 that reaffirmed my love for Joanna Coles, from her exchange with Casanova: “Excellent. I like the word ‘comfort.’ It’s so important in fashion, but no one ever talks about it.” Preach, sister.
  • Kayne led the group in a disco dance party at the end of the workday (pictured above). Of course he did. Also note how joyfully Wendy Pepper joined in; she appears to have become totally zen since her season. I was curious to see how long that would last but, sadly, after her elimination, I guess we will never know.
  • This week’s guest judge? Rafe Totengco, who designs handbags for Nine West. I knew he was an appropriate choice for this challenge, but my gut reaction was that I wanted to see a more “name” designer in the guest chair. However, Totengo offered very thoughtful critiques and won me over – he was a solid guest judge overall.

The Results: The judges named Uli the winner. Her look was not my favorite, but I like Uli so much that I couldn’t help but be pleased with her win. Wendy Pepper was sent home, which surprised me – I thought the producers would keep her around for the potential drama factor alone.

What did you think of last night’s PR All-Stars? Will you miss Wendy? Will Andrae ever put down the tulle and make a good design? And will Suede ever stop referring to himself in the third person, for the love of all that is good and holy?

(All photos via Lifetime)

Project Runway: Season 10, Episode 13

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By now, the rhythm of Project Runway has become familiar; this many seasons into the show, it wasn’t hard to predict how this episode would play out. The designers would leave, Tim would come visit them at home, the designers would return (so happy to see each other again! Besties!), and the designers would have mini-meltdowns as they tried to select which of their looks they would present to the judges to make it to Fashion Week. There were no trips to Mood, no montages of the designers sketching, and no wacky challenges – and while this made the hour relatively low-key, it also meant the focus was on the fashion. Which, given that this is a fashion competition, is probably just as it should be. So let’s get right to it: who’s going to Fashion Week?

The Challenge: Heidi and Tim informed the designers that they would each get $9000 to create their collections…but that not all four were guaranteed a spot in the finals. This was meant to be shocking, but since this happens pretty much every season, it barely registered. The designers headed home to create their looks and then, upon their return to New York, were told they would have to show three pieces to secure their places at Fashion Week.

Here are my thoughts on each designer’s look, from my most favorite to least.

Dmitry’s Three Looks:

  • Look One: I did not love how shapeless this dress was, but I adored the geometry of the piece – very cool.
  • Look Two: Not sure about this. I loved the pants – they were impeccably tailored and just all-around quite cool. Dmitry started to lose me on the top, though. Something about the sheerness of this just didn’t read “chic” to me, which is the word I typically associate with Dmitry’s style.
  • Look Three: Yikes! Not sure about the fringed arms on the jacket, and again, the sheer top underneath. But, the jacket (and the material it was made of) were fantastic.
  • Overall: I wanted to love this because I love Dmitry, but I just didn’t. These pieces were solid but not wonderful. You could see the architectural look that Dmitry was going for, and everything was impeccably made as per usual, but some of his choices just felt off. But, I thought everyone’s looks were lackluster last night – so I would still rate Dmitry’s mini-collection at the top.

Fabio’s Three Looks:

  • Look One: Loved the pants, loved the necklace. The top looked cheap to me (though I liked the fabric it was made of) and the vest wasn’t anything special.
  • Look Two: I hated the way this top puckered; it was an interesting idea with the geometric cutouts, but Fabio did not execute it well. The back of the top, with it’s lace panel, was quite pretty.
  • Look Three: Hated this. It just looked like a bedsheet, to be honest. I did love the geometric neckline though.
  • Overall: These pieces did look like a cohesive collection, and I loved the geometric flourishes Fabio added throughout. But, I wasn’t crazy about his color palette – it looked too washed out. And, as the judges noted, some of these pieces looked cheap. I still rate this above Melissa and Christopher though; at least Fabio tried to do something different and special, whereas what we saw from the other two were drab, blah messes.

Melissa’s Three Looks:

  • Look One: GAH! This look is a gothic nightmare. The shorts aren’t anything special (why did everyone think sending shorts down the runway was a great way to get a ticket to Fashion Week?!), and I hated the cut of the top. Also, the model’s wig is atrocious.
  • Look Two: I hated the asymmetry of the coat. I’m pretty sure it was a deliberate design choice, but to me, it just came off looking haphazardly made. I also wasn’t wild about the over-sized cuffs.
  • Look Three: I liked this dress – simple and chic, though not exactly groundbreaking. But, as per usual, Melissa just had to add an exaggerated collar. The judges love to complain when somebody is one note – so why haven’t they criticized Melissa more over her collar obsession?
  • Overall: This collection was very Melissa – of the four designers, her looks were the most predictable, based on what we saw from her throughout the course of the season. But, it contained a little too much black and a few too many exaggerated collars for my taste.

Christopher’s Three Looks:

  • Look One: This was WAY too simple. I mean, what was special or fashion-forward about this look? Simple shirt, simple shorts, simple vest. I just didn’t get why Christopher chose to send this down the runway.
  • Look Two: Again, what was special about this? The leather shorts were fine, but 99.9% of women couldn’t wear them. The ostrich belt, allegedly the cool detail here, was so tiny that I didn’t even notice it.
  • Look Three: And, again, SO simple. What the hell? This is a skirt and a bandeau top – no more, no less. Also, I hated the way Christopher placed his silly x-ray print on the back of the dress. It almost looked like his model had a tail!
  • Overall: I’m not sure why Christopher chose these three looks – they didn’t make much impact, and they were all too simple. They didn’t show off any of his skills! I would have liked to see Christopher show a gown to the judges, or at least something with more impact and workmanship.

Bitchy Lines of the Night:

  • “I really don’t feel like she pushed the envelope…her white collared jacket, I feel like I’ve seen it before. What’s so special about this?” (Christopher on Melissa’s collection. Dude may have had a point there).
  • “I’m definitely underwhelmed by Christopher’s collection. He has some very classic pieces and then he has some slutty pieces. It just doesn’t flow.” (Dmitry on Christopher’s collection)
  • “That little sweater and those shorts…if you have the opportunity to go to Fashion Week, you cannot send that down to the runway…It’s so boring. I don’t even understand why you would show this to us today.” (Heidi on one of Christopher’s pieces. I couldn’t agree more, Frau Klum).
  • “I would also rethink the sleeves on that jacket; they look a little Robin Hood to me…just cut them off” (Nina on Melissa’s jacket. It did have ridiculous sleeves).

Random Bits + Pieces:

  • Tim was killing it, wardrobe-wise, during his visits to each designer. His tie during his visit to Christopher was fabulous, especially when paired with his checkered shirt. And then his pocket squares when he visited Fabio were equally fabulous. So dapper, that Tim.
  • In an attempt to be innovative, Christopher played around with bleach on leather. Tim went nuts for the technique, but to me, it looked like…Christopher had accidentally spilled bleach on leather. I just didn’t get why this was so special.
  • I love when Tim mingles with the ordinary folks (aka, the designers’ families). Upon seeing the food Christopher’s family had provided: “This looks so…caloric!”
  • Melissa was super confident about her look when Tim came to visit her in San Francisco, but when she arrived back in New York and headed to the workroom, her confidence evaporated almost instantaneously. I’m not sure what it is with Melissa, but she really seems to choke under pressure. Fabio said it best: “She loves what she’s doing, but she’s not as confident as she should be.”
  • The designers only had five weeks to put together their collections?!? Anybody else remember the halcyon days of Project Runway when the designers had months to create their final collections? No wonder they were almost universally crappy. Producers, let’s adjust this, stat.
  • This week’s guest judge? There wasn’t one. I have to say, the show was just fine without an extra chair; it allowed us to focus on the judges whose opinions I actually respect: Nina, Michael, and, heck, even Heidi. When deciding between a vapid young actress and thin air for the guest judge, thin air appears to come out on top.

The Results: You’re going to Fashion Week! And you’re going to Fashion Week! And you’re going to Fashion Week! Sorry, I didn’t mean to go all Oprah there, but everybody got to move on, making this episode completely meaningless filler. I suppose I am glad that all four are still in it, since I like them all, but this episode was just a waste of time, and I’m a little bitter about that.

(Judges, contestants, and runway photos via Lifetime; Michael Kors’s face of brilliance via Entertainment Weekly)

Project Runway: Season 10, Episode 12

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It’s the final challenge before Fashion Week, y’all! I mentioned this awhile back, but I feel like this season has gone on for a long time so, despite my overwhelming love for Project Runway, I am ready for it to wrap up. Overall, this episode was a bit “meh.” I wasn’t terribly inspired by any of the creations and the workroom “drama” was predictable, with everyone falling into the typical “Oh-my-god-it’s-the-last-challenge-before-Fashion-Week-and-I-have-to-pull-out-all-the-stops” poor me routine. Let’s discuss.

The Challenge: The designers trekked to Oheka Castle (where?), a place that, per Tim, was meant to “inspire” their designs but ended up feeling more like a meaningless field trip to Long Island. Also serving as an alleged “inspiration” was a slew of L’Oreal products (gotta get that product placement in!). All of these elements were smoke and mirrors, though, as the heart of the challenge was to create an avant-garde look. The designers were given $400 dollars and two days to create their looks which, given the nature of this show, was downright luxurious.

My Top Two:

  • Dmitry: This was just cool – I loved how Dmitry made a suit, but pushed it to the extreme with every little detail (and it looks even cooler when you see the model in profile, because of the sleeves). From the zig-zag shape of the collar to the pointy sleeves to the deep V in back, every detail was amazing. My one complaint? I wasn’t totally sold on the color of the fabric; it looked drab.
  • Fabio: This is not a design I would like in the real world, but since this was an avant-garde challenge, I think it fits the bill. I love what Fabio did to his coat – literally flipping it upside down. That was pretty ingenious, and I loved the way the jacket billowed on the runway. I was less sold on garment underneath, particularly how sheer the pants were.

My Bottom Three:

  • Melissa: Something about this just felt…tacky to me. I didn’t like the shiny leather top and vest, and I thought the high collar was a bit expected, given what we’ve seen Melissa do throughout the season. I also didn’t like the pops of coral; they seemed to clash with the rest of the garment. This was my least favorite look so, naturally, all the judges (except Heidi) loved it. I gotta go with Frau Klum on this one.
  • Christopher: Something about this just felt off to me. First, I didn’t like the way Christopher styled the look, adding feathers to his model’s arms – that felt like overkill. I also thought the design of the gown was a tad simple, and I hated the puffy hips, even though they were supposed to be the gown’s “avant-garde” element.
  • Sonjia: I didn’t like this, as it was a tad too Little Mermaid-esque. I also hated the random missing pieces up top. And, sorry to say, this didn’t look that different from your standard issue red carpet gown, so I don’t think it met the standards of an avant-garde challenge. I did agree with Heidi, though – the emerald green color was gorgeous.

Bitchy Lines of the Night:

  • “Me and Fabio have the same character and the same palette, so I want to see whose they like better…mine will be better.” (Christopher, capped off with what can only be described as a diabolical chuckle).
  • “But does that make it avant-garde or a mistake?” (Tim to Christopher, after Christopher said the avant-garde feature of his gown was fabric shaped to make the model’s hips look wider. Tim was right about this one).
  • “Unfortunately to me, it looks like an ice skating costume that, you know, Nancy Kerrigan skated through a banquet hall.” (Michael on Sonjia. Welcome back, snarky Michael!)
  • “It’s like an old lady’s answer to wearing a bare back dress.” (Michael on Sonjia. Someone was cranky about Sonjia’s look, huh?)
  • “To me, she looks like she has hairy forearms.” (Michael on Christopher. Spot on, I tell you).
  • “To me, she looks like she’s going to a funeral.” (Heidi on Fabio’s garment. I don’t know whose funerals Frau Klum is attending, but nobody I know wears anything like that).

Random Bits + Pieces:

  • Heidi always wears dresses that are way tight, short, and shiny, but the one she wore at the beginning of this week’s episode was pretty bad, even for her standards, amirite?! The dress she wore for judging was also fairly atrocious. Step up your personal style, Frau Klum!
  • Sonjia’s gold fabric, critical to her design, went missing somewhere between Mood and the workroom at Parsons. I always find it harsh that the producers don’t let the contestant retrieve their fabric when they make a mistake like this – it seems unnecessarily cruel.
  • Christopher has the best facial expressions; this episode, they ran the gamut from sheer bitchy disbelief to silent rage as he looked at Dmitry’s work in progress and deemed him the toughest competition. Say what you will about Christopher’s propensity for theatrics, but boy is always entertaining.
  • What do you know, Melissa had time management problems this week! Seriously, this happens Every. Single. Episode. You would think she might learn to manage her time a little better after so many challenges, but I guess not.
  • What was with every designer saying “Goodbye, Atlas!” each time they left their apartments this episode? Did Atlas suddenly decide they weren’t being pimped enough and encourage the show to work in a few extra mentions? It was odd.
  • I hate when Heidi asks each designer why they should go to fashion week and which other designers should come along with them. It’s just unnecessary drama creation which, I know, is the name of this game, but still. The show does this year after year, and it always annoys me.
  • This week’s guest judge? Zoe Saldana. I usually complain when actresses are guest judges (see: Duff, Hilary), but Zoe has got to be one of the more knowledgeable actresses when it comes to fashion. Her critiques were thoughtful and articulate.

The Result: Christopher, Dmitry, Melissa, and Fabio made it to Fashion Week; Sonjia was sent home. I really expected the producers the judges to send Fabio home before Sonjia and, even though I liked Fabio’s garment this week more than Sonjia’s, overall I would have preferred to see her go to Fashion Week.

(Judges, contestants, and runway photos via Lifetime; Michael Kors’s face of brilliance via Entertainment Weekly)

Tuesday Top Ten: Schmidt Moments

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I know people have mixed reactions to New Girl (you either love it or you think Zooey Deschanel is a twee, tight-wearing, not-at-all-adorkable annoyance). Me? I love it, clearly, and that’s largely because of Schmidt, the breakout character and frequent saving grace of season one. Schmidt is hilarious, and Max Greenfield is flat-out brilliant in this role.

In celebration of a new season full of Schmidt shenanigans (the show premiered last week and the awesomeness continues tonight), I thought I would compile my top ten Schmidt moments from season one (though there were so many amazing moments it was hard to narrow it down to these ten). Can you imagine how many more awesome Schmidt-isms there will be in season two?

(1) The Montage of Schmidt’s Douchebag Jar Violations:

I know some people think New Girl’s recurring “Douchebag Jar” joke is lame, but it always kills me when Schmidt says something Jar-worthy. You can imagine my enthusiasm, then, when New Girl did a whole montage of Schmidt’s Jar violations. Some gems:

  • “Guys, has anyone seen my good pea coat?”
  • “Have you seen my shark skin laptop sleeve?”
  • “Darn it! Has anyone seen my croquet cleats?”
  • “Damn it! I can’t find my driving moccasins anywhere!”

(2) Schmidt’s Cheesy Innuendos:

Only Schmidt could seduce the ladies by comparing sex to cheese. I loved his cheese speech to Cece because it was just so Schmidt: you gotta keep it classy and refined, people. For example: “But we haven’t even gotten to the cheese course. A little sharp-aged cheddar. Manchego. Some buttery Gruyère. You sure you want to miss out? I’m going to slowly peel the wax off your baby bells. How about a little stinky Taleggio? Or maybe some cream cheese. Want some schmear, Cece? Wanna party with Havarti?“

(3) All of the Indian Things Schmidt Enjoys:

This monologue was so brilliant that the only way to do it justice is to quote it verbatim. To wit: “I love Slumdog, I love naan…pepper, Ben Kingsley, the stories of Rudyard Kipling. I have respect for cows, of course. I love…the Taj Mahal, Deepak Chopra, anyone named Patel. I love monsoons, I love cobras in baskets. Naveen Andrews. I love mango chutney…really any type of chutney.” So good. Also: you haven’t lived until you have heard Schmidt pronounce “chutney.”

(4) Schmidt’s Fashion Sense:

Part of Schmidt’s essential swagger comes from his impeccable (in his own mind, at least) sense of taste and style. Some examples? He wears driving moccasins and croquet cleats. When he has to walk home, he complains, “I have my slippiest loafers on.” Jess bribes him with a pair of Calvin Klein slacks. And how does Schmidt make sure his skin always looks good? Body gelato, naturally.

(5) Schmidt’s Parkour Moves:

The brilliant thing about Max Greenfield as Schmidt is that he makes tired jokes seem hilarious. For example, Parkour gags have been done before (see: The Office), but perhaps not quite as awesomely as when Schmidt literally bounced off the walls of their loft in his excitement over Cece spending the night. And, making this moment even better, Schmidt capped things off with some mock speed skating moves (“Apolo Anton Ohno!”).

(6) Schmidt Plays Sexy Santa at Work:

Naturally, Schmidt (everyone’s favorite Jewish guy) would play Santa Claus. And, naturally, he would feel the need to put his own…special spin on Mr. Claus. Yep, Schmidt dresses up as sexy Santa every year for his office party. It might be a little scary for the children that attend, but the ladies like it just fine.

(7) Schmidt Cooks Thanksgiving Dinner:

When Jess invited a coworker over for Thanksgiving dinner without actually knowing how to cook Thanksgiving dinner, it was Schmidt who stepped up to make the meal. Of course, this brought out his strongest OCD tendencies: “I wanna let you know up front that I have some control issues in the kitchen. So if I’m gonna do this, I’m cooking the whole meal. I don’t want you touching anything. And I don’t want to hear Schmidt, Schmidt, you’re using too much tarragon.”

(8) Schmidt’s Damp Towel Rage:

If there’s one thing Schmidt hates, it’s a damp towel. His anger over his towels always being damp was hilarious (spoiler alert: it was because Nick always uses them), but you know what was even better? His solution: “I will be putting my dehumidifier and my towel in my room, where nothing ever gets wet.”

(9) Schmidt’s Upside Down, Hanging Sit Ups:

One thing Schmidt knows? How to impress the ladies. When Cece sleeps in his room, Schmidt gets up early, oils his body (of course), and hangs upside down from a pull-up bar, just waiting for her to wake up. My favorite part of this gag? Schmidt would lose consciousness every few seconds. Just how long was he hanging upside down, waiting for Cece? The world may never know.

(10) Schmidt’s Kimono:

The visual of Schmidt in a super-short kimono would be enough to merit inclusion on this list, but Schmidt went even further by opening his mouth. He pronounced kimono hilariously (“keeee-mo-no”) and also couldn’t help but abbreve it: “I just wanna come home, put on my ‘mono and just hang loose man.”

If you watch New Girl, what are your favorite Schmidt moments?

(Image Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10)

Project Runway: Season 10, Episode 11

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This week’s Project Runway was one of the more amusing episodes in recent memory, as the six remaining designers bumbled their way through caring for their “babies.” While this was a completely ridiculous premise for a challenge, I decided to forgive the show for it because it was so damn hilarious. Let’s discuss.

The Challenge: Product placement alert! Heidi and Tim met the designers at Babies ‘R Us, where Heidi told the designers all about her clothing line for children. Heidi also informed they designers they would be creating a look for a toddler and the winning boy and girl looks would be manufactured and sold at Babies ‘R Us. And then (in a twist anyone who has watched PR for awhile could have predicted), the designers were later tasked with creating a “companion piece” to their toddler outfit – a garment for each child’s mother to wear.

My Top Three:

  • Sonjia: I liked the cute little suit on the baby (it even had elbow pads!), but I hated the fabric Sonjia used for the shirt. Not to reinforce silly gender stereotypes or anything, but that is totally not a boy’s shirt. Still, the suit was so cute that I’m willing to overlook that detail. I also thought the mom’s look was nice – it was put together, but still looked comfy enough for a mom on the go.
  • Christopher: I loved this, and I am SO glad Christopher ignored the mom’s criticisms of his outfits because his instincts were spot on. The baby looked adorable – the flowered dress had such a wonderful texture. And I think Christopher chose the perfect fabric for the mom’s dress; it was gorgeous!
  • Fabio: The kid kinda looks like a little pimp, but in a cute and loveable way. He had baby swagger. I liked how Fabio incorporated the printed fabric sparingly so that it made the outfit interesting but wasn’t tacky. I also really liked the mom’s dress, particularly how the hem was shorter in front.

My Bottom Three:

  • Melissa: The baby’s dress was boring – it was just a white dress, and it was too short to boot. The little vest over the baby’s outfit added nothing special to look, and I found the smiley face on the back of the vest tacky. The mom’s outfit was a complete throwaway; it wasn’t ugly, but it wasn’t really a special design either.
  • Elena: I liked the idea Elena had for the baby’s ruffled jacket, but the stuff she paired it with was awful. The color combination – navy, bright pink, and a sage-y green – just didn’t look great. Plus, I think Elena over-embellished the baby’s look: a sequined top, flower appliques on the jacket, a ruffled waistband on the pants, and a headband. Her mom’s look was okay but forgettable (a theme for all the mom outfits tonight).
  • Dmitry: I loved the mom’s dress – simple but chic, and oh so Dmitry. But…the baby’s look was atrocious. Sonjia called this a firefighter costume, but to me, with that hood, it reads more like a red crayola crayon (which, I swear, I typed in my notes before Nina said it. Just for the record). It pains me to put Dmitry in the bottom, but it had to be done.

Bitchy Lines of the Night:

  • “It’s like you are making an outfit for a cat.” (Dmitry, on designing for children. Ladies and gentlemen, we have found the future winner of “father of the year”).
  • “Her name is asshole” (Elena, on the name of her “baby.” Ladies and gentlemen, we have found the future winner of “mother of the year”).
  • “I really don’t see myself ever putting my kid in Dmitry’s firefighter jumpsuit. He looks a little homeless, in my opinion.” (Sonjia on Dmitry’s look. This was funny, but I’m still standing by my crayon theory).

Random Bits + Pieces:

  • While making baby clothes was definitely a great way to stress out the designers, I am not sold on this type of challenge so late in the game – it’s completely unrelated to the sort of design these guys generally do, and I’m not sure it helped tell us who was deserving of moving one step closer to Fashion Week.
  • My favorite (non-bitchy) line of the night came from Christopher: “Now I know why Judy went off the deep end with Liza.” Bahahaha.
  • Remember last week when I called this show Project Friendship? Well, the friendship times are over, as Christopher, Fabio, and Dmitry mutually agreed not to help Melissa even though she was far behind. Honestly, I’m surprised they didn’t reach this conclusion sooner – girl may be nice, but at the end of the day, she has to lose if you want to win.
  • This week’s guest judge? Hilary Duff, whose primary contribution was repeating the same things that whoever spoke directly before her said. I get that she just had a kid and all, but couldn’t the show have found some other stylish celebrity mom? My dream choice would have been Stella McCartney. How amazing would that have been?!
  • Today, the cast of the next Project Runway All-Stars was announced. It is completely egregious that, less than a year after the first “All-Stars” (quotations used to highlight my incredulity), the show is doing another round. Shouldn’t there be several seasons between each edition of All-Stars? That said, there are a few designers I’m excited to see again – namely, Ulee (yay!), Kayne, and Andrae (“Designers, look out for Andrae – he’s our little lamb”). As for the rest of the bunch? Meh.

The Results: Sonjia had the best boy’s outfit and Christopher had the best girl’s. I probably would have given Fabio the win over Sonjia (though it’s a close call), but I agree with Christopher’s win. The judges sent Elena home, which felt right – she had never won a challenge, and it was definitely her time to leave.

What did you think of last night’s Project Runway? Was it complete nonsense to make the designers create clothing for toddlers? Did the judges make the right choice sending Elena home? And can you believe that another season of “All-Stars” is coming in just a month?

(Contestant photos via Lifetime; Michael Kors’s face of brilliance via Entertainment Weekly)

Project Runway: Season 10, Episode 10

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After this week’s episode of Project Runway, I’m going to have to rename the show Project Friendship. The producers can attempt to manufacture all the drama they want, but you cannot convince me that these designers aren’t friends. From the chatting at dinner to the funny moments in the workroom to everyone helping everyone else out, I have come to the conclusion that these designers are practically besties (except Dmitry and Elena, because, you know, that would mean hell had frozen over). I know the producers think nice people are lame, but I like seeing the camaraderie – it allows you to focus more on the fashion, which is (allegedly) the point of this show. With that said, let’s get to discussing those fashions.

The Challenge: The designers headed to Radio City Music Hall, where they were greeted by Tim and treated to a performance by the Rockettes. As the Rockettes took the stage (joined shortly thereafter by Heidi, who displayed a solid talent for kicking in time with the professionals), the challenge became obvious: the designers would have to create a costume for the Rockettes.

My Top Three:

  • Christopher: I absolutely LOVED Christopher’s skyline top. What a brilliant concept, and oh so perfect for the Rockettes. I agreed with the judges and too would have given Christopher the win because his idea was just so much better than anyone else’s. However, as with all the looks in my Top Three this week, I found flaws in Christopher’s dress. Namely, the skirt – it looked a little meh, and I don’t think it would work well during the trademark Rockette high kick sequences.
  • Dmitry: I was a bit on the fence on this look. I thought parts of it were amazing. The fringed skirt, for instance, was beautiful and moved well. I also adored his color palette: the midnight blue with the black was striking. On top of all that, the garment looked incredibly well-made; as the camera panned in on the details during the critique, you could see that everything was perfectly executed. I wasn’t wild, however, about the cutout zigzag thing going on. It almost looked space-like to me, a little “Star Trek meets Flapper.”
  • Melissa: I liked how modern this dress was – I think Melissa met one of the key requirements of the challenge, which was to create a splashy, sparkly uniform but also make it modern and cool. However, this costume was not without its problems. I’m not sure about the collar – that look works on Melissa’s more high concept designs, but maybe not on a Rockette costume. The dress was also undeniably short. In the words of Frau Klum, “You have to have your bits covered.”

My Bottom Three:

  • Ven: I did not find this look offensive, but it was a definite snoozefest. The shape was too simple and the pale color, while pretty, wasn’t providing the pizazz that Ven needed to do well with this challenge. Also, the fabric was quite odd; there appeared to be some sort of mesh netting thing going on?
  • Elena: Throughout the episode, people commented that Elena was making a marching band costume. Even Elena herself made this comment, yet – puzzlingly – she did nothing to remedy the situation. This look was just hideous. I’m not sure how Elena escaped elimination for creating something this tacky, unsophisticated, and cheap-looking.
  • Fabio: I really hated this, and I would have put Fabio’s look in the bottom before Sonjia’s (the judges, clearly, disagreed). Every season on PR, there’s a designer who skates through the competition, never making anything remarkable – and to me, that’s Fabio this season. I detested the bright, metallic silver fabric, and this look didn’t say “Rockettes” to me at all; it was more Xena: Warrior Princess.

Bitchy Lines of the Night:

  • “But honestly, it doesn’t read Rockettes…it reads cheerleader.” (Ven on Elena. Clearly their dinnertime bonding worked wonders).
  • “I feel like you should go to the Lord & Taylor accessory wall and look for a baton.” (Tim, on Elena’s band uniform-esque garment. I love that, even during a moment of fashion crisis, Tim remembered to get in his product placement. What a professional).
  • “Dmitry’s garment is very high school dance team.” (Christopher. Initially, I agreed with this assessment, but I think Dmitry – for lack of a better phrase – made this look work).
  • “When I look at Sonjia’s costume, all I think is bawk bawk bawk bawk…” (This soundbite was amazing. There’s nothing I can type that approximates the gloriousness of dour Dmitry imitating a chicken).
  • “I mean, just think about it. You’re going to see 36 identical dresses made of feathers. It might be like a turkey-fest up there.” (So good, Nina G. So good).
  • “To me, she looks like a Las Vegas cheerleader. I mean, it’s just tacky.” (Michael on Elena. I have to say, MK has not been as quotable the past few episodes. What’s going on, Kors?)
  • “It felt like it would actually be a beautiful costume…for the circus.” (Debra on Elena. Oh, snap).
  • “A molting group of Rockettes is not really something that would be great.” (Thank you, Debra Messing, for conjuring up this hilarious image in my mind).

Random Bits + Pieces:

  • Did anyone else think that Dmitry, as a former professional ballroom dancer, had a leg up on this challenge (Rockettes pun totally intended)? It seems like his background would be tremendously helpful here, and I guess it was since he made a fantastic garment.
  • They have never shown people going over budget at Mood before, and I have always wondered whether it happens, or if the producers intervene and give the designers more money. But I guess it does, as we saw Elena struggle with her budget ($150 over!) and end up with far less than she needed or wanted. Honestly, how can you go that far over and not realize it?
  • I typed the previous bullet at the beginning of the episode, but later on we learned: wait, the producers do intervene, in the form of giving the designers the chance to go back to Mood and get more fabric. This has never happened before, and I was a bit shocked they allowed it. My conspiracy theory? The producers loved Christopher’s garment and wanted it to win, so they gave him the opportunity to get the starry fabric he needed to complete the night sky portion of his dress.
  • Speaking of Christopher, he was flat-out adorable this episode. My favorite moment? “Thank you, Debra Messing.”
  • Sonjia’s head wraps are fabulous. I wish she designed clothing with a similar aesthetic to what she chooses to wear herself; she has such a cool personal style, but it doesn’t always translate to the runway.
  • This episode confirmed to me that Melissa must be a genuinely nice person, because all the designers were eager to help her: Christopher gave her money at Mood, Ven helped her sew her garment, and Fabio, Sonjia, and Christopher worked on reattaching her zipper.
  • Did anyone catch this? Elena said, “I think I’m going home” and there was Ven, nodding in agreement beside her. Sorry, buddy. The joke’s on you.
  • This week’s guest judge? Debra Messing, who makes an excellent judge. Normally, celebrities contribute very little to the conversation, but Messing always delivers thoughtful (and funny) critiques.
  • Hearing Tim say, “bitch slap that bitch” is fabulous. The end.

The Results: Whoa. I was shocked by this week’s result: in the battle for last place, the judges sent Ven packing before Elena. I truly thought Ven’s prior body of work, which was superior to Elena’s overall, would save him. Even Tim could not contain his surprise, saying, “Well, isn’t this a bit of a wake-up call? Look who’s going home. It’s a scenario I don’t think any of you wrote.” Indeed.

If you watched this week’s Project Runway, what did you think? Were you surprised that Ven (cross-dresser name Origami Rose, thank you Michael Kors) went home? Will Elena ever stop crying? And how bananas does next week’s baby clothes challenge look?

(Rockettes and judges photos via Lifetime; Michael Kors’s face of brilliance via Entertainment Weekly)

Project Runway: Season 10, Episode 8

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Do you remember last week’s episode of Project Runway? It occurred so long ago (like, a whole week!); clearly, I am a little behind on my PR blogging. Nonetheless, I still have plenty of things to say about our favorite crazy design crew, so let’s get right down to it.

The Challenge: The designers split into teams of three and were tasked with creating a fall look, including outerwear. But wait…there was no budget for this challenge. Instead, the designers had to create “merchandise” (aka tacky t-shirts) to sell on the streets of New York in order to raise the money to buy their fabrics for the challenge. I have to say, I didn’t love this premise; just give the designers some cash money and set them loose in Mood. No need for them to be begging on the streets of New York!

My Top Three: Sonjia, Chris, & Gunnar

I’ll be honest: it was difficult for me to pick a winner this week; to me, all three collections were fairly drab. I mean, choose a better color palette, people! That said, Sonjia, Chris, and Gunnar’s two looks were my favorite, primarily because of the coats created by Sonjia and Christopher. Sonjia’s coat, I loved because I thought it had an interesting silhouette and I loved the ruffle details in front. Christopher’s camel jacket was less successful; I’m not sure how I feel about the different color sleeves. But I loved the coat’s overall shape, especially the cool collar.

My Bottom Three: Ven, Fabio, & Melissa

I was disappointed with this team because I have come to expect more from these three designers. To me, their collection looked very American Apparel: solid colored pieces made of sheer-ish, thin fabric that are inexplicably overpriced. In other words, not good at all. Overall, these pieces were very shapeless and the colors were a bit drab. The shirt on the right was especially egregious; why would you layer such a sheer fabric over dark pants? Horrendous.

Bitchy Lines of the Night:

  • “The judges picked this challenge to keep everyone? And this is what they keep? Gunnar?!” (You stay classy, Christopher).
  • “There are two reasons I don’t wanna work with him. Number one, I just don’t like Christopher. And secondly, I just can’t stand the sound of his voice.” (You stay classy, Gunnar).
  • “What did I do in my past life to deserve this?” (Dour Dmitry, upon finding out he was on a team with Elena).
  • “These are the most homeless looking t-shirts I’ve ever seen. Who is wearing these t-shirts?” (Sonjia, on the merchandise Elena, Dmitry, and Alicia created to sell on the street).
  • “Christopher’s rope thing looks like a Snuggie. An ugly ass Snuggie with a belt with no seaming. Oh god…it’s just one of the ugliest things I’ve ever seen in my life.” (I guess Elena has never seen any of her own space alien bubble coats before).
  • “God, I wish we had a horse tranquilizer.” (Christopher, after Elena got into a laughing fit. I love Christopher’s snide, sneaky comments).
  • “Something should’ve been in that crotch…that a girl doesn’t have.” (From Michael – of course – and delivered with a wicked smile. It’s a basic rule of PR that at least once per season, Michael will complain about the crotch of one look’s pants).
  • “And Elena, the Queen of Coats. Well, excuse me. That coat looked like it was sewn with her feet.” (Oh, Michael. Never change).

Random Bits + Pieces:

  • This week’s guest judge was Anna Sui. Am I the only one who thought she was terribly dull as a judge? She’s a great designer and, I’m sure, a lovely person, but she didn’t offer meaningful critiques to the designers.
  • I thought it said a lot about Christopher’s character (well, as much as a reality show can say about one’s character) when he told the judges Gunnar deserved the win. Even if he truly believed Gunnar deserved the win, I never thought Christopher would have said that aloud, given how much he appears to detest Gunnar.
  • Best sales pitch of the night: “Hey guys, we’re trying to sell these crappy t-shirts that we made in three hours.” You’re a natural saleswoman, Elena.
  • Best analogy of the night: Christopher comparing Dmitry and Elena to Boris and Natasha. So good.

The Results: Sonjia wins (I can totally get on board with that) and Alicia is out. Alicia has been something of a non-entity all season; she never showed much personality and her designs tended to be similarly lackluster. In the words of Madame Garcia, “At least Dmitry and Elena were fighting for attention. Alicia was fighting for nothing.” Alicia seems like a cool person, but this was so her time to head home.

(Runway and judges photos via Lifetime; Michael Kors’s face of brilliance via Entertainment Weekly)

Project Runway: Season 10, Episode 6

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This week’s Project Runway will forever be known (in my mind, at least) as the one that featured an incredible transformation: see Ven go from mildly offensive to flat-out jerk in record-breaking time. While we have see many instances over the years of designers clashing with their clients, Ven just might take home the top prize for all-time worst (which is truly saying something when you think of the showdown between Jeffrey and Angela’s mom in Season 3).

The Challenge: This week, the designers were given the traditional (and traditionally hated) challenge of giving “real” people a makeover. It never fails to baffle me that the designers react with shock and disgust every time they have to design for a person who isn’t a size 0. Honestly, I know it’s a different body type, but is it really that difficult to make a few adjustments? Apparently it is, as most of this week’s designs were lackluster. In fact, I wasn’t even that crazy about the ones I put in the top.

My Top Three:

  • Christopher: I liked this dress a lot, particularly how well it moved on the runway. True, there wasn’t much groundbreaking here; on a stronger week, this would have been solidly middle-of-the-pack in my book. But among what was presented, this was one of the few flattering looks. The dress was cut well and I loved the shade of grey he chose.
  • Dmitry: Yes, this is a crazy simple garment, but it looks incredibly well-made and professional. I loved the color he chose and the tailoring was impeccable. The bodice work on top was also fun. I would have given Dmitry the win this week.
  • Elena: Like Christopher’s dress, I would have considered this a middling look on most weeks. However, I did think Elena made her client look good; you could just tell she was happy when she walked down the runway. I do question the top though – I’m not sure the slight ruffle along the bottom is flattering.

My Bottom Three:

  • Nathan: When Nathan’s client asked for terribly tacky things and he started obliging her, you just knew he was doomed – doing whatever the client wants without any regard to what’s, you know, fashionable is always the kiss of death in these types of challenges, as any longtime PR viewer knows. Though his client was happy, Nathan’s dress was truly awful – it was too tight and the fabric was horrendous. It looked very ’80s to me, but not in a fun way.
  • Alicia: I was surprised this look escaped the judges’ wrath. To my eye, this looked trashy and cheap. The dress was too skimpy and I didn’t like the cutouts, the shape of the dress on top, or the super thin straps.
  • Ven: This was awful, particularly since Ven chose ugly fabric and cut the clothes in the least flattering way possible. I loathed the color of the top and those sleeves simply aren’t doing anything for her. I also thought he placed the skirt’s slit in the absolute worst place. Again, it was just unflattering to her figure.

Bitchy Lines of the Night:

  • “This is the first time I see Elena is actually being nice to someone, so…it’s about time.” (Oh, dour Dmitry. I love you so. Never change).
  • “Maybe if you had a different designer, we would have found a better outfit for you. Ven, it’s your fault.” (Heidi to Ven’s client. Loved it).
  • “To me, you look like a hoochie mama” (Heidi on Nathan’s dress. Accurate assessment, I’d say).
  • “It is so super short, which makes it a little slutty looking…it needs to be a little longer because otherwise it looks like you’re going to work…somewhere else.” (Heidi, who was on fire in terms of bitchiness this week).

Random Bits + Pieces:

  • Dmitry remains my favorite designer of the bunch. As the episode began, Dmitry said he was losing confidence because he hasn’t won yet. This reminds me: why hasn’t he won a challenge yet? He absolutely should have at least one in the bag. I hope my favorite Belarussian ballroom-dancer-turned-designer keeps his spirits up.
  • While Ven came off terribly this episode, other designers really shined. I thought Elena treated her client quite well (especially given her past outbursts), but it was Gunnar who took the crown. He had a wonderful attitude this week, saying, “I think it’s extremely important to design for the everyday person…I make clothing for regular women who want to look great.” This begs the question: has Gunnar transformed over the past few episodes, or did the producers just edit him to look awful at the beginning of the season, only to reveal now that he’s a decent guy?
  • I loved Heidi’s takedown of Ven. Heidi: “I always find it so amazing when you guys say you ‘had to design for a real woman.’ Like, who is not real?” Major snaps, Frau Klum. You tell him.
  • Another Heidi note: her dress this week was fantastic. Absolutely loved it.
  • This week’s guest judge was Alice Temperley, who designs pieces frequently worn by Kate Middleton and is therefore awesome. I love when PR has guest judges like Temperley and like Rachel Roy last week: successful, smart designers whose opinions have real weight and thought behind them. Dear PR: more of this, less of Hayden Panettiere, please.

The Results: Fabio was declared the winner (for a grey dress with a mismatched brown belt, whaaaa?) and Nathan was sent home. Considering that Nathan has been a non-entity most of the season and Ven has been consistently good, I’m okay with this outcome, despite the fact that Ven was awful (both design-wise and human being-wise) this week.

(Runway and judges photos via Lifetime; Michael Kors’s face of brilliance via Entertainment Weekly)