In Which I Make an Embarrassing Confession

By far, the guiltiest of my guilty pleasures is Dancing with the Stars. So deep is my shame that I never discuss the show with anyone except my mom. Well, my mom and the entire internet.

But yeah. It’s completely ridiculous, cheesy, over-the-top, outrageous, and pretty much any other outlandish adjective you can think of. And yet, I find it oddly mesmerizing. Sometimes I avert my eyes or mute the television because people are embarrassing themselves so profoundly, but…I always come back for more. Because, let’s be honest – in spite of all this (or perhaps because of it), I do love this show.

One of the best parts of the whole DWTS spectacle is watching with others/making and reading snarky comments. Yes, I am a faithful reader of Entertainment Weekly’s recaps (and of their Hidden Gems column! If you don’t know what I’m talking about here, get on it. You won’t regret it. Well, maybe you will). And, many weeks, my mom and I text each other with our observations during the show. Our opinions almost never coincide but, truth be told, sometimes I am just argumentative for the sake of it.

And, in case you’re curious, my random thoughts on this season:

  • Carson Kressley is a terrible dancer but, hands down, the most entertaining thing on any episode.
  • Nancy Grace is less of a trainwreck than I expected. And her partner has a hot Irish accent, which I think is a strong enough reason to keep her around for awhile.
  • Elisabetta and Val’s partnership makes me feel awkward and I want them to leave, like, yesterday.
  • I thought Hope Solo was going to be amazing, and I want Maks to finally win this damn thing. But their partnership is not living up to my expectations.
  • I want to hate Kristin Cavallari on principle, but last night I (gasp) enjoyed her quickstep. Now I am in an emotional tailspin. I don’t even know myself anymore.
  • I often think the show would be better off without judges. Bruno is flat-out ridiculous and acts over-the-top just for the sake of it. And every time Carrie Ann cries, I want to face punch her. Len is the only one of them who (generally) makes intelligent and comprehensible comments, but I could even do without him.
  • Brooke Burke is one of the most unintentionally hilarious people on television. I love how she reads every sentence with the same basic monotone, no matter the content. For example, who else could say, “Last week, we lost Metta World Peace” with complete, total, 100% seriousness? Girl didn’t even giggle a little bit.

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