Okay. I will preface this by saying I’m fully aware that I’m 25 and that 25 is not old. But…
It seems like there’s been a huge wave of ’90s nostalgia lately. I’m all for this; though I was alive in the ’80s (for a few brief years during toddler-dom), I could never really connect with ’80s nostalgia that seemed prevalent because, clearly, I can’t remember the ’80s. But ’90s stuff? That I get. That’s my childhood.
However, the thing about all this nostalgia is that, at some point, you start to realize all these things you remember so vividly (‘N Sync! Dawson’s Creek! Beanie Babies!) happened well over a decade ago. And once that realization sets in, it hits you. You’re getting old.
I saw this article the other day – “40 Things That Will Make You Feel Old” – and it perfectly taps into that feeling. Almost every single thing on that list is something I totally identify with.
The list also got me thinking, and in almost no time, I came up with a few of my own things that make me feel really, really old. I know if I pondered this question for longer, I could come up with way more, but for now – here are the five things that make me feel super ancient.
One: I’m as old as the characters in Friends
This is the one I find the most disturbing. A few months ago, it hit me – in Friends, season 1, they are all 25 or 26. And I’m 25! What? How did that happen? Seriously, I’ve been watching Friends since it first came on the air (like 17 years ago, oh my god), and it never really dawned on me that I’d catch up with (and surpass them) one day. Insanity, I tell you.
Two: Clueless is now as old as Cher was in the movie
Yes, Clueless came out 16 years ago. 16! How is that even possible? Clueless was, hands down, one of the most beloved movies of my childhood and one of my go-to sleepover movies for years (along with Now and Then, which is also fantastic). The thing I love about Clueless is, to this day, the movie holds up well. Paul Rudd is still adorable. Alicia Silverstone is still the perfect mix of ditzy and lovable. And the jokes are still funny (some, by the way, are made even funnier by the passage of time – for instance, Cher’s reference to “Marky Mark taking time out of his busy pants-dropping schedule” always makes me smile because Mark Wahlberg is allegedly a serious actor now).
Three: JTT is a thirty-year-old
Okay, I’m not proud to admit it, but back in the day (i.e., late elementary to early middle school), we were all about those completely vapid teeny-bopper magazines – Teen Beat, Tiger Beat, etc. Though many crushes were developed in those days (hello, Devon Sawa! Where have you been lately, Rider Strong?), the king of them all was Jonathan Taylor Thomas, affectionately known as JTT. And now, he’s in his thirties, and my mind is blown.
Four: Jonathan Lipnicki can legally drink
You remember Jonathan Lipnicki, right? The super cute kid from Jerry Maguire, who knew that the human head weighed eight pounds? Well, should you run into him at bar one day, you could buy him a drink. Odd. Also, even odder – he’s apparently, like, a body builder now. Yikes.
Five: There are way too many American Girl Dolls
I remember the glory days, when Felicity, Kirsten, Samantha, and Molly were the only American Girl dolls. I don’t know about you, but American Girl dolls were huge in my world (and, not that you asked, but I had Molly – and, apparently, many other girls did too). I prefer to remember American Girl in its early heyday, where only these four dolls existed. But then…the American Girl empire began to expand. They added Addy. That was fine. Then they added Josefina. That started to feel like a bit much. Then Kit came along. That was over the line. Who wants a Great Depression-era doll anyway? What a downer. And now there are a ton more, plus a bajillion “modern” girl dolls. Too far, American Girl. Too far. Go back to a simpler time and place, please, where all we had to worry about was Molly raising money to buy war bonds and Kirsten wearing a (highly-flammable, I’d suspect) wreath of candles on her head in celebration of St. Lucy’s Day.