Reverse Bucket List

(image via MotiFake)

I am a big list-maker. I have lists – tasks I need to complete, books I want to read, places I plan to travel – scattered around my computer, iPhone, notebooks, and various random scraps of paper. It’s actually somewhat daunting to think of all the things I’ve scribbled down over the years. But what about those things I never want to do? Surely there are plenty that qualify, yet I’ve never written those down. However, I saw this “Reverse Bucket List” on the Hairpin and it inspired me to create my very own anti-Bucket List. Here’s what I never, ever want to do.

  1. Go Black Friday shopping. I hate shopping on a random Tuesday afternoon in March, so you can imagine how much the idea of Black Friday shopping horrifies me. I just do not get the appeal; no bargain is worth it.
  2. Eat haggis. I’m not good with icky foods, so I could easily substitute a dozen other things for “haggis.” But you get the idea.
  3. Go to a Nickelback concert. I really don’t think I need to explain this one.
  4. Watch the Human Centipede. I cannot even discuss this movie without feeling physically ill. Ask my old coworkers – they have seen my reaction (and mocked it).
  5. Get Botox or plastic surgery. I understand why women do it, and I wish society didn’t make women feel compelled to do so. But, have you ever looked at someone and said, “wow, your wrinkle-free, yet completely emotionless face looks great!” I think not.
  6. Read books 2-4 of the Twilight series. I read book one, and it was enough to convince me that never has a worse book series been written.
  7. Marry an Ohio State fan/alum. It would be unnatural. Go Blue!
  8. Watch golf. On television, in person, or any other way you can imagine. I can tolerate a lot of boring sports (see: baseball), but I cannot tolerate this one.
  9. Be on a reality show (with the exception of the Amazing Race). Yes, I watch reality television, but 95% of the people on it make me feel sad about the future of humanity.
  10. Own a cat. I’m allergic, and also…I hate cats.

2 thoughts on “Reverse Bucket List

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