Who Would Google That? Vol. 2

(image via Casting & Downing)

I always find it entertaining to look at the search terms that bring folks to my blog – some are hilarious, some are mildly (or majorly) disturbing, and some are just plain odd. I’ve recapped some of my favorites before; now, here’s round two.

Things That Make Me Laugh:

  • i’ll wave your decapitated head on a stick parks and rec” (I love when people Google quotations from my favorite shows and wind up here. So great.)
  • trebek yourself before you wreck yourself” (Is this a saying? I want to incorporate this into my arsenal immediately. Love it.)
  • love you like a fat kid loves cupcakes” (Indeed. Cupcakes are deeee-licious.)
  • ron swanson ben jerrys” (Oh my goodness. The next new flavor should totally be Ron Swanson themed. I’m thinking ice cream with chunks of bacon?)
  • fuck civ pro” (I concur.)
  • busy phillips cornrows” (Has she ever had this hairstyle? Laurie Keller would definitely rock this look.)
  • laura pepperoni” (If only this were my name.)
  • learn all the laws” (I get a crazy amount of hits based on this one. Just think of all the desperate law students out there, using the internet to procrastinate.)

Things Internet Creepers Google:

  • shailene woodley pool scene” (I have gotten a LOT of these. I was commenting on her acting skills in the pool scene, people!)
  • amy poehler ass” (Don’t disrespect Amy like that!)
  • what bra size is nina dobrev” (I truly do not know. Or care.)
  • sexy girl singing carols” (Don’t ruin the holiday season for me, internet.)
  • daniel radcliffes apartment new york” (Stalker alert! Alas, a little part of me wishes I knew the answer to this myself.)
  • maisie williams sexy” (Too far, internet creepers, too far. She’s like 14 years old. Come on!)
  • should i wear a see through lace dress for valentine’s day?” (Your boyfriend would probably say yes. Guys are predictable like that.)

Things That Make No Sense Whatsoever:

  • drinker love backgrounds” (Whaaaat?)
  • i am a cupcake freak in words” (They are delicious, I’ll give you that)
  • movie wow very good girl chunk” (Whaaaat, part two?)
  • cupcake before and after” (Before and after what, exactly? Baking? Eating? Ogling?)
  • two dogs in a bucket of soup” (But how would they fit?)

Miscellany:

  • kate winslet unflattering dresses” (People can be so cruel. I still love you, Kate.)
  • pictures of tropical fish diseases” (A, that’s gross. B, I’ve never written about tropical fish ever. Internet search engines are a mystery to me.)
  • children shining a light through cellophane” (I’ve gotten this a couple times. Is this, like, a science experiment kids are doing nowadays?)
  • did new years eve movie suck?” (Yes.)
  • i wish my life was exciting” (Me too. No, wait – it is! I swear.)
  • laundry tv scenes from the 90s” (Are there really that many? The only one I can remember is Ross and Rachel on Friends. Uberweiss!)
  • michael fassbender douchebag” (No!!! He’s the best.)
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