This week on Project Runway, the designers all boarded the Struggle Bus, destination: tragic runway meltdowns. Andrea struggled after receiving a scathing critique from Tim, Elena struggled with a glue gun burn, Gunnar struggled with irrational hatred of Christopher, and Kooan struggled to fit in amongst the earthlings.
However, I’m not even going to pretend to sympathize with these struggles: they make for great TV. So let’s get right down to it – here’s my take on last night’s Project Runway.
The Challenge: My all-time favorite – the unconventional materials challenge! The designers headed to Dylan’s Candy Bar, where they were met by owner and guest judge Dylan Lauren (looking super cute in a bright green top and rainbow tie). Tim told the designers they had $500 to spend and unleashed them in the store to gather materials.
My Top Three:
- Sonjia: Tim said Sonjia’s garment reminded him of sea glass, and I have to agree. This look was absolutely stunning, from the gorgeous color palette to the incredibly detailed candy placement to the dress’s cute shape to the model’s adorable headpiece. Heidi said the hat made the model look like a ’50s diner waitress, but I have to disagree. I loved everything here and would have easily given Sonjia the win.
- Dmitry: I loved how he added fun details to this so that it became more than an oppressive black dress. The dress’s shape and fringe were great, and I loved the zipper in the back. This looked like a gothic flapper to me, and I mean that in the best possible way.
- Ven: Though the dress had a simple shape, the way Ven (diagram!) applied the broken candy pieces was everything. The swirl patterns were wonderful and the dress appeared well-constructed. Ven (diagram!) has firmly established himself as the frontrunner. Can anyone dethrone him?
My Bottom Three:
The judges didn’t put any of the three looks I hated into the bottom this week. Honestly, I’m baffled by this – weren’t these three atrocious?
- Andrea: There was nothing special about this dress, comprised of sewn-together sheets of candy dots that made for a shapeless column gown. It was, quite simply, unattractive. The bustle in the back was ridiculous and arbitrary, like Andrea was desperately adding something for no good reason.
- Melissa: Though I named Melissa one of my early favorites last week, I can already tell that the tedious all-black color palette is going to be her obstacle in this competition. Setting that aside, I still didn’t like this look. The top fit poorly and the exposed stomach was tacky.
- Raul: I thought this look was horrendous – it appeared cheap and tacky. The stomach cut out was ugly and the colors didn’t go together (there was a red fabric in back of the dress that especially clashed).
Bitchy Lines of the Night:
- “I don’t have the adequate words to tell you how completely underwhelmed I am by this.” (Tim to Andrea, delivering perhaps his harshest workroom critique ever. He also threw in the ultimate PR insult: “It looks craft project-y”).
- “I feel like at this point, Lantie has just dug her own grave and is stepping into the coffin.” (Gunnar, delivering an accurate assessment, which pains me to admit because he’s an awful human being).
- “If you saw her wandering down the street, you would put money in her cup.” (Michael on Buffi, whose look I personally kind of liked).
- “At least it’s not atrocious.” (Nina on Lantie. This is almost a compliment coming from Nina G.)
- “To me, she looked like rigatoni Mad Max.” (Michael on Elena’s dress. So, so good).
- “It’s like when you stare at a cloud and start seeing things. Now her boobs are turning into an old man’s eyes.” (Michael on Elena, in an odd-sounding critique that was actually quite accurate).
- “She looks like a dude.” (Heidi on Elena. Frau Klum had a point here).
Random Bits + Pieces:
- WHAT IS GUNNAR’S DEAL? (Sorry for shouting). He arbitrarily hates Christopher and is basically pretending to be Joshua from Season 9. He needs to leave now.
- I didn’t understand why all the designers were mad at Buffi for breaking down her umbrella in the workroom. Okay, hammering is kind of annoying, but it’s a workroom. Isn’t it always noisy?
- I have to admit: Kooan’s designs may be bananas, but his ridicularity in the workroom is growing on me. He’s completely nuts but oh so fun to watch. Bonus: seeing Tim looking utterly baffled during his interaction with Kooan.
- Favorite workroom gem from Tim: “This is a glue the fuck out of it moment.” Tim is the best, y’all.
- I kind of love Dmitry and Elena, the duo of incredibly dour Eastern Europeans. The two of them should get together and have children who never smile and wear all black.
- Will people ever learn that the unconventional materials challenge must involve…unconventional materials? Using fabric will get you yelled at by the judges EVERY time. Lantie, you should have known better.
- I am crazy excited for next week’s episode after seeing the preview. Designing a look for past designers? Sheer brilliance. I can only imagine the bitchiness that will (hopefully) ensue. And pity the poor team who gets saddled with Kenley.
The Results: Ven (diagram!) took home a well-deserved win from the judges; Lantie took an equally well-deserved exit. I was happy with how everything shook out this episode. Were you?