I don’t know about you, but I feel like I have a lot of time on my hands since the Olympics are over. Now that my life has resumed its normal pace, I’m realizing you can achieve lots of things in your day when watching canoeing isn’t high on your to-do list. Here are ten of them:
(1) Eat Fierce Five Corn Flakes:
What better way to keep the Olympic spirit alive than to start every day with a bowl of Corn Flakes, fresh from a box emblazoned with the smiling faces of our five favorite tiny gymnastics queens? The only thing that would make this box better is if Bela Karolyi made an appearance on the back panel.
(2) Take Up Speed Walking:
When I was little, I used to watch the Olympics and dream about being that talented. Now that I’m older than many Olympians and have realized I possess no athletic talent whatsoever, it has become clear that this is a pipe dream. That is, until I saw Race Walking, which, as far as I can tell, is walking really fast. Walking! An Olympic sport I can get on board with.
(3) Learn How to Apply Aliya Mustafina-Inspired Eye Makeup:
Nothing says, “don’t mess with me” like dramatic, Russian diva gymnast eye makeup. Taking cues from Mustafina, I can use my spare time to brush up on my eye makeup application skills. The essential elements? Dramatic black wing tips, lots of glitter, and waterproof mascara (for the inevitable tears when I don’t stick my dismount and have a meltdown).
(4) Email Friends About Topics Other Than Nathan Adrian’s Adorableness or the Thrilling Outcomes of Women’s Soccer Matches:
I may be obsessed with the Olympics, but at least I’m not alone. Over the past few weeks, I’ve had some amazing Olympic-related email chains going with friends. Now that the Olympics are over, we can finally get back to emailing each other about normal things (like adorable puppy videos and how awful guys are).
(5) Incorporate “The Bolt” Into Every Photograph I Take:
Planking is so five minutes ago, people. We all need to be Bolting, in literally every picture we take. Usain Bolt is an insanely good athlete (just ask him!), and we need to incorporate his fabulosity into our everyday lives.
(6) Acquire a Water Polo Robe:
My favorite uniform of the Olympics was – by far – the robes sported by water polo players. Just imagine how cool you would look working one of these bad boys the next time you head to the beach or the pool. The super tiny Speedos, on the other hand? Not recommended by any means.
(7) Aggressively Avoid the Ryan Lochte Media Blitz:
The media and the internet keep trying to make Ryan Lochte happen and I’m here to tell you: we cannot give into them. Lochte will undoubtedly be on a million talk shows over the next few weeks and, when that happens, you should plan to be doing anything but watching. Who’s with me? Jeah!
(8) Make Submissions for the McKayla Is Not Impressed Website:
I’m sure everyone will have forgotten this website by next week and be onto the next meme, but I’m still semi-obsessed with the McKayla Is Not Impressed tumblr. I mean, you guys! She’s more terrifying than Posh Spice, and that’s saying something. What can we Photoshop her into next?
(9) Figure out How to Make a Women’s Professional Soccer League Happen:
If you watched any of the women’s soccer tournament, and particularly the USA’s last two games, you know how exciting soccer can be (for serious!). I wish a women’s professional league could actually survive and succeed in the USA – it’s totally sad how we get excited over them for a few weeks and then they slowly fade away for the next few years. Let’s make a professional league happen, people. I’m thinking we could just dismantle the NBA and let soccer take its place. Sound good?
(10) Start a Countdown Calendar for Sochi:
540 days, people! It’s practically time to start preparing again.
(Images Sources: Fierce Five via E Online, Race Walk via London 2012, Aliya Mustafina via Annie Barrett’s Twitter feed, Nathan Adrian via The Washington Post, Usain Bolt via The Star, USA Water Polo via Fly with a Freebird, Ryan Lochte via Jezebel, McKayla Maroney via McKayla Is Not Impressed, Soccer via Zap2It, and Sochi 2014 via The Inspiration Room)