Red Carpet: Academy Awards 2013

Another Oscars have come and gone and, I don’t know about you, but I feel a bit underwhelmed. The show itself was not great; I wanted Seth McFarlane to be a lot better at hosting than he actually was. And the red carpet fashion? Kinda dull, with lots of colorless and neutral gowns. Here’s how I saw it:

Best Dressed:

best - keibler, chastain, watts, seyfried

  • Stacy Keibler: Completely perfect. Stunning. Wow. Those are all the words I have to say. Wait, I have a few more: best dressed of the night.
  • Jessica Chastain: First, her hair and makeup were brilliant. Love, love, love the soft waves and red lips. Second, her dress – a pale color on a pale girl – should not work, but somehow it does. Well done.
  • Naomi Watts: This gown took me awhile to get used to, but once I did, I decided Watts looks fabulous. It’s such an interesting bodice, but it really works, sidestepping potential awkwardness and heading right into downright striking territory.
  • Amanda Seyfried: My second favorite look of the night. Her hair is perfection and her dress is gorgeous – just so intricate and lovely. As with Jessica Chastain, I can’t believe such a pale girl can pull off such a pale color so well, but Seyfried is doing it.

Honorable Mention:

honorable - lawrence, barks, spencer, adams

  • Jennifer Lawrence: This is certainly a gorgeous gown, but the overall bridal vibe held me back from outright  “loving” it. It’s a LOT of train for one person, but J. Law’s pulling it off (well, except for the part where she fell walking onstage to accept her award). Also: her hair is absolutely perfect and her earrings, though hard to see here, were lovely.
  • Samantha Barks: This is one of those looks that it striking because it’s so wonderfully simple (and, yes, because there’s a gigantic slit down the front, which she’s totally rocking). I wish her hair had been a bit less messy though.
  • Octavia Spencer: I complained about the colorless gowns, but in this case, the color (or lack thereof) totally works. I also love the tulle wrapped around her shoulders; it’s got an old Hollywood vibe that I’m digging.
  • Amy Adams: At first I thought this gown was a little too “pretty, pretty princessy” for my tastes, but I decided to embrace it because it’s pretty incredible. A statement dress, for sure.

Worst Dressed:

worst - hathaway, zeta jones, mccarthy, saldana

  • Anne Hathaway: I hate this. Hate it. And it’s not just because Anne Hathaway annoys me; I fully accept that she can look awesome on the red carpet despite my personal apathy toward her. But this is just NOT her dress. It’s WAY too pale and downright dull – total shades of Paltrow the year she won. Anne’s hair and makeup look great, but that’s all I like about this look.
  • Catherine Zeta-Jones: I’m sorry, but this is tacky. Too gold, too attention-seeking. Rein it in, CZJ. Also, if you wear a solid gold dress, do you really need gigantic gold earrings, too? However, to end on a positive note: she looked fabulous in the Chicago number, did she not?
  • Melissa McCarthy: I’m not a fan of the color of this dress, but I can live with it. What I cannot live with? Her hair. Straight up ’80s, but not in a good way. Egregious.
  • Zoe Saldana: It pains me to label someone who consistently takes risks with fashion (and often looks fabulous while doing it) as a “worst dressed,” but it had to be done. This dress just looks overworked, with too much nonsense piled onto the top half and too many ideas overall. The ombre train is kind of cool, but it’s too much when combined with everything else this dress has going on.

Split Decision:

split - washington, garner, theron, field

  • Kerry Washington: I adore the coral color, but I’m not sure how I feel about the bust – it seems like a bit too much going on. I also wish she did something (anything!) with her hair; it was just hanging there.
  • Jennifer Garner: I love the color of her dress; it’s unique and looks really lovely on her. However, she has a giant ruffle trailing down her spine and…just no. Looks good from the front, but not so much from the side or the back.
  • Charlize Theron: I feel like peplum is way overplayed at this point, but you can’t deny that this is a striking look on Theron. Also, can we talk about her hair? She makes the pixie cuts sported by the likes of Anne Hathaway and Michelle Williams look like child’s play. Just wow.
  • Sally Field: I adore this color on her, but I think she almost went a little too matronly with this gown. The dress was too plain; I wanted a little sparkle or something to jazz the gown up. However, Field did get to walk the red carpet with Joseph Gordon Levitt which, let’s be honest, was one of the more adorable things ever.

Miscellaneous Fashion Awards of Note:

wallis, aniston, bullock, witherspoon

  • Most Adorable: There can be NO critiquing someone as adorable as Quvenzhane Wallis; she’s nine years old and beyond reproach. Her dress is cute, she’s wearing a tiara, and she’s carrying a freaking puppy dog purse. I can’t even.
  • Most Expected: Okay, the skirt here is fuller than Jennifer Aniston normally goes, but otherwise this look is 100% expected – solid color, column bodice, stick straight hair. But, damn, she does it well. Ultimately, I can’t fault her for knowing what works and sticking with it.
  • Second Most Expected: This feels reminiscent of what Sandra Bullock wore the night she won her own Oscar – that high neckline, in particular. Bullock looks good, and credit her for knowing what she likes, but I wish this look had a bit more pizazz.
  • Most Boring: Though her hair was gorgeous, Reese Witherspoon‘s dress was something of a snooze fest. Not really bad, but just…standard.

adele, berry, weaver, kidman

  • Best Black: This is a predictable look for Adele, but she looks lovely. The dress is nice, and I really like the softness of her hair. Also, she wins points for being an awesome human being in general. Love her.
  • Best 80s Diva Fabulosity: Let’s be honest: Halle Berry‘s look is kinda cray, but I sort of love it anyway. It’s shiny, and there are stripes going every which way, and she’s rocking shoulder pads. It sounds like a joke, but she looks amazing – if anyone can pull this off, Halle can.
  • The “This Is What Sally Field Should Have Worn” Award: When I said I wished Sally Field would have jazzed her look up, this is what I meant. Jackie Weaver‘s gown is age appropriate yet interesting. I like this dress a lot.
  • Worst Fabric: The black parts of Nicole Kidman‘s dress almost look like trash bags to me. Am I crazy? There’s just something about the uber-shininess of the black that does not work for me. I wanted to like this gown but cannot get on board with it.

dewan, fonda, hunt, hayek

  • Best Mama-to-Be: I love Jenna Dewan Tatum‘s dress – it’s pretty and sexy but totally appropriate for her now. Also, she gets my vote for best accessory, if you know what I mean. What I mean is, Channing Tatum is hot.
  • Most Ageless: Ladies and gentleman, Jane freaking Fonda. Wikipedia tells me this lady is 75. Whaaaaat? She looks fabulous. The yellow color is crazy but I think she’s making it happen (as best as anyone can make that color happen). Her hairstyle looks dated though.
  • Best Bargain: The dress that Helen Hunt is sporting is from H&M. Let that sink in for a minute. H&M, home of the $5 blouse. This is like when Sharon Stone wore a Gap shirt on the red carpet – cheap fashion made fabulous. I kind of love Hunt for this, even if the gown is a tad simple.
  • Worst Collar: Salma Hayek looks like she’s being strangled. I’m not a fan of her hair, either. She can do (and has done) better than this.

stewart, munn, hudson, zellweger

  • Most Begrudging Admittance That I Like This Look: I’m not a K Stew fan (she inspires a rage in me similar to that of Anne Hathaway), but she looks fairly good here. She usually goes for a look best described as “gothic and unhappy,” but she took a different approach – and I think it works. Minus the hair, however. That’s just tragic.
  • Best Red: Yeah, that’s a lot of fabric around the middle of Olivia Munn‘s dress, but I think this gown is gorgeous overall – especially the detailing on that bodice. Love Marchesa, always.
  • The “Take That, Beyonce” Award: During the Dreamgirls segment of the show, did anyone else think Beyonce was just going to pop up? I mean, she’s everywhere these days. Alas, there’s no time for Queen B. when J. Hud is killing the Dreamgirls song and looking fantastic on the red carpet. Her hair is gorgeous, and the color of this dress is beautiful. Get it, Effie.
  • Most in Need of a Hairstylist: I’m fine with Renee Zellweger‘s dress (though it’s nothing special), but what was up with her hair? Lady, I know it was windy on the red carpet, but no.

If you watched the Oscars, what did you think? Was this one of the longest, most mind-numbing shows ever? And are my picks for best and worst dressed spot on, or totally crazy?

(Images via People)

2 thoughts on “Red Carpet: Academy Awards 2013

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